My husband looked at me with childlike directness, and I barely held back from slapping him across the face. All this time, my nerves had been stretched to the limit and finally snapped.
When I was in college, my classmates and I often went to a small cozy bar where live music played on Fridays. One of these evenings, the stage captured my attention more than usual. In the foreground stood an attractive guitarist with big brown eyes, who kept his gaze on me throughout the performance, and I was glad our attraction was mutual.
«Good evening, may I introduce myself?» asked the charming musician after his performance.
«Vika,» I replied immediately and reached out my hand to the stranger.
«I’m Andrey,» the young man gently touched my hand with his lips.
Such a gesture surprised me greatly, as I was not accustomed to such courteous treatment. My friends watched us with admiration, clearly liking the musician as well.
«Unfortunately, I have to leave now, but could you give me your phone number?» Andrey asked.
«Of course,» I dictated my number to the young man, smiling all the while.
«I’ll definitely call you,» promised Andrey as he put his phone back in his pocket. «Ladies, have a good evening,» he wished my friends and disappeared behind the stage.
«Vika, don’t let this wonderful guy slip away,» said Lily with a hint of envy in her voice.
«Yes, he’s very good,» I still couldn’t take my eyes off the door through which Andrey had disappeared.
«I’ve always dreamed of dating a musician,» shared Angela.
«Maybe Andrey has a nice friend like him, I’ll ask him, of course, if he calls me.»
«He’ll call, did you see the way he was looking at you?» Lily said confidently.
«I hope you’re right,» I said hopefully.
Lily was right. The next day, Andrey called and asked me out on a date, which I immediately accepted. We had a great evening, found many common topics, and talked non-stop. Only in the early morning did Andrey walk me home, and I fell into bed, tired but happy, deciding to skip classes. Since then, our meetings with Andrey became almost daily, we met whenever possible, and eventually, we decided to live together.
«We should rent a larger apartment, yours will be too cramped for us,» Andrey suggested.
«Yes, I think so too, let’s look at other options,» I agreed.
Andrey still lived with his parents, and moving in with him was a bad idea. I was renting a small studio, which was quite enough for me alone, but critically small for the two of us.
«I’ll start looking for the best apartment for us tomorrow,» Andrey promised.
«I don’t care what the apartment is like, as long as you’re there,» I said, looking at Andrey with loving eyes. «Just make sure it’s not too expensive, our side jobs won’t allow us to pay much.»
A suitable option was found quite quickly, and just a week after our conversation, we moved into a one-bedroom but spacious apartment, where a new chapter of our life began. Time passed, I graduated from college and got a job at the company where I had interned during my studies. Andrey continued to sing in the evenings at the bar, not wanting to look for anything else. Thus we lived for several months, and then Andrey proposed to me, and I joyfully agreed.
«I don’t want a lavish wedding, let’s celebrate just the two of us,» I shared my vision of the celebration with Andrey.
«You surprised me, I thought you’d want to invite a crowd of your friends,» Andrey was amazed.
«I just need you. Besides, we don’t have much money, and I wouldn’t like to get into debt.»
«As you say, I’m all for it,» Andrey agreed with me.
Everything happened as I wanted; we got married and walked around the city, visiting all our favorite places. I wasn’t sad at all that we didn’t have a luxurious wedding, having Andrey was enough for my happiness. After marriage, I felt even happier than before; even small misfortunes couldn’t upset me.
«Honey, I have bad news,» Andrey sat at the table, looking very upset.
«What happened?» I was worried, it was rare to see Andrey in a bad mood.
«The bar is closing, and I can no longer perform there,» my husband sighed heavily.
«Well, that’s unfortunate, of course, but no big deal, there’s plenty of live music around, you’ll find something.»
«I don’t know, the guys in the band no longer want to perform in bars and restaurants, they think it’s time for us to move to a new level.»
«And how do they plan to do that?» I asked.
«Well, we need to rehearse more, invest money in good equipment,» Andrey replied.
«What about work?»
«Can you give me some time, we’ll definitely make it big, and a regular job would distract me. Honestly, a standard job doesn’t suit me, after all, I’m a creative person.»
«Alright, let me work alone for now, they just promised me a raise,» I agreed with Andrey.
I considered him very talented and focused, I believed that he and the band could achieve success in the music industry, so I didn’t insist that Andrey get a job. At first, everything was fine, I saw how Andrey loved his favorite activity, and how it made him happy. However, over time, I began to be annoyed by his parasitic attitude towards me. I can’t say exactly when it happened, but at some point, Andrey started to become brazen.
«Vik, I need money,» he told me one evening over dinner.
«For what?» I raised my eyebrows.
«I need a new guitar,» he explained.
«But you have a guitar,» I didn’t understand.
«Yes, but I need another one, this one is outdated, how can we talk about success if I have such an instrument.»
«I thought talent was more important than the instrument,» I ventured.
«Of course not, you just don’t understand anything about this.»
«And how much money do you need?»
«About seventy thousand,» Andrey calmly replied, as if it were a trifle.
«How much?!» I almost choked on my dinner.
«For a good instrument, it’s not much. You understand, it’s an investment in the future, I’ll become famous, and this money will be mere pennies to our family,» my husband promised me and looked at me with his pleading gaze, against which I could never resist.
«Alright, take the money from what we’ve saved.»
«Thanks, honey, you’ll see, I’ll become a star.»
The new guitar was bought, but our family budget remained the same, or rather, contrary to my husband’s promises, it gradually decreased. Andrey also changed and became more rude and dismissive in his communication with me. He began to disappear more often at rehearsals, and when he returned, he was almost always in an inadequate state.
«How long can you drink?!» I asked irritably, as Andrey came home drunk again.
«I need to relax somehow, I work in a tough rhythm.»
«Work?,» I scoffed. «And where’s your salary?»
«Again you’re nagging, I’m heading for fame, and you’re demotivating me.»
«I’d be more sympathetic to you if you were going to fame without bad habits and concurrently working a normal job, I’m tired of supporting both of us.»
«What job are you talking about?» Andrey was outraged, his tongue was slurring, he was having trouble speaking clearly. «I’m a delicate, creative nature, such things are not for me, ordinary people should work.»
«By ordinary people, do you mean me?»
«Well, you don’t have any talents,» said Andrey, not understanding what I was angry about.
«How about I also take up art, we’ll be hungry but talented,» I suggested.
«Don’t talk nonsense,» Andrey brushed me off and staggered to the bedroom.
After the rose-colored glasses fell from my eyes, living with Andrey became much more difficult. Now his creative nature didn’t endear me, it only irritated me. The apartment gradually turned into a warehouse of musical instruments, bought with my money.
«Ouch!» I screamed as I entered the apartment and stumbled over some box.
«What are you yelling about?» Andrey came out into the hallway.
«What is this?» I pointed to the box that had almost crippled me.
«It’s a stand and a new microphone, be careful, it’s worth money,» my husband warned me.
«Oh really? It’s worth my money, you meant to say.»
«Ours, we’re a family.»
«And where did you get the money, I don’t remember you asking me about this purchase.»
«I took the money from the drawer.»
«The money I was saving for a vacation?» I asked frightened.
«I don’t know what you were saving it for, in any case, the microphone is more important now,» Andrey paid no attention to my anger.
«More important to whom?» I barely held back from yelling.
«For our family, my success will benefit both of us. Alright, I’m busy, I don’t have time to argue with you,» and he left, leaving me to seethe alone.
It was hard to predict how much longer my patience would last. I had no desire to be near Andrey, past feelings were left somewhere in the distant past. I saw that for him, the band and partying were more important, and the family had gone somewhere to the bottom of the list of priorities. Several times friends called me and told me that they saw Andrey at the bar, where he was having fun with his friends and hitting on waitresses. I threw tantrums, we argued a lot, but it led to nothing, he didn’t care.
«I think you need to talk to him calmly, fighting won’t lead to anything,» Lily advised me when I called her to complain about my husband.
«I’ve already talked to him calmly, it doesn’t work. And my nerves are failing, I have no more strength.»
«Do you think you’ll be able to save the marriage?» Lily asked.
«I still love him, but, I think, he’ll drive me to the edge, and it will all end,» I shared my fears.
«Whatever happens, it’s for the best,» Lily wisely noted.
I was afraid of losing Andrey, but with each of his antics, that fear became less and less. At the New Year, my work gave me a good bonus, and I went home joyful, hoping that we could go somewhere for the winter holidays.
«Imagine, my efforts were not in vain, plus fifty thousand to my salary!» I shared my joy with Andrey.
«They gave you a good bonus at work, let me have it, I’ll spend it on myself,» said my unemployed husband.
«Are you out of your mind?» my joy was wiped away.
«And what, you’re not interested in anything anyway, I need it more.»
«You’ve completely lost your conscience!» Andrey’s audacity crossed all boundaries.
«What’s the problem? We have a common budget,» my husband could not understand the reason for my outrage.
«For the budget to be common, we both have to contribute to it, not just me.»
«But we agreed, I need to develop in music, otherwise how will I make money?»
«Like all normal people, at work!» I yelled.
«But that doesn’t suit me.»
«You know what, you don’t suit me either, get out of here!»
«Are you out of your mind?» Andrey looked at me in astonishment.
«Yes, when I agreed to support you. Get out, I don’t want to see you anymore.»
«But I’m your husband!»
«That’s temporary, leave.»
«What’s happening with you, we agreed on everything, why are you reacting so strangely?»
«We didn’t agree that you’d become brazen and sit on my neck. I’ve endured your idleness and endless parties under the guise of rehearsals for too long, that’s enough! Get out!» I repeated.
Andrey wanted to say something else, but I grabbed my jacket and ran out of the apartment, not giving him the chance. I wandered around the snowy city for a few hours, then returned home, there was no one there, Andrey’s closets were empty. «Well, thank God,» I sighed with relief, making sure he had really left. I was afraid that if I broke up with Andrey, I would suffer greatly, but I felt easy and calm. «That means I did the right thing,» I decided. A couple of months after breaking up with Andrey, I met with Lily, and she told me news from his life.
«Imagine, your Andrey now lives with Rita.»
«First of all, he’s long been not mine, and secondly, who’s Rita?» I clarified.
«Well, it’s that waitress who always served us at our favorite bar, remember?»
«Oh, right! Haven’t seen her for years.»
«Yes, me neither. But then I met her on the street, and she told me she lives with Andrey, he still doesn’t work and is waiting for success,» Lily told me.
«And she’s okay with that?» I asked.
«She’s thrilled about how romantic he is, believes that Andrey will definitely become famous.»
«Poor girl, she’s in for a big disappointment,» I said sympathetically, remembering how I myself fell for all his promises.
«She’ll realize what she got herself into, sooner or later,» said Lily, and we started discussing the news of my personal life, and we had a lot to discuss.
After Andrey, I didn’t stop believing in love and now was building a relationship with a man with whom I felt as secure as behind a stone wall.
