“We’re getting a divorce,” Oksana said indifferently, shocking her husband with her unexpected resolve.
What a crushing blow it is when the illusions of your world shatter, when love turns into a cold divorce without explanation.
“How was the trip?” Oksana asked when her husband returned home three weeks later.
“You know, it was fine,” Arkady answered calmly. “I’m exhausted, though. Tired like a dog. These business trips are wearing me out completely.”
“And you can’t refuse them,” Oksana said thoughtfully, staring off into the distance.
“That’s the thing,” Arkady replied.
“Because there’s no one but you, and you don’t want to let people down,” Oksana continued sadly.
“You understand everything, my love,” Arkady said tenderly.
“Well, maybe not everything, but a lot,” Oksana replied in the same tone.
By that point, Oksana already knew for certain that Arkady had not gone on any business trip. More than that, she even knew where—or rather, with whom—he had been spending all that time. Why was she speaking to her husband so calmly? She had her reasons.
The day after Arkady’s departure, Oksana found his passport under the sofa and froze in thought.
“That’s strange,” she thought. “How could he have gone anywhere without his passport?”
She called her husband.
“Is everything all right with you?” Oksana asked.
“Everything’s great,” Arkady answered.
“And where are you right now?”
“What do you mean where? On the train.”
They talked a little longer, and Oksana hung up.
“Either he has another passport,” she thought, “otherwise they wouldn’t have let him onto the train. Or he’s lying about everything.
And he never left at all. Which means what? It means there’s another woman, and he’s with her right now. And tomorrow morning he’ll show up at work as if nothing happened. That’s where I’ll see him.”
The next morning, Oksana went to Arkady’s workplace. At 7:50 she stood not far from the entrance. Five minutes later, she saw Arkady walk through the gate.
“So there is another woman,” Oksana thought. “All right. Keep yourself together. Now I need to find out where he goes after work. I need to find her. Then we’ll talk. I’ll come back here by the end of the workday.”
When her husband left work, Oksana followed him and learned everything.
It was not that difficult. Some of the residents in the building Arkady entered turned out to be very talkative. They told Oksana that the woman’s name was Vera Pavlovna. She was thirty-five, unmarried, had bought an apartment in that building two years earlier, and half a year ago Arkady had appeared in her life.
Armed with that valuable information, Oksana already wanted to go and confront both her husband and Vera Pavlovna right then and there.
But something from above stopped her.
“Oksana!” said that voice from above firmly.
“You’re not in the right state to start a scene like that right now.”
“Why not?” Oksana protested. “I’m exactly in the right state.”
“And I’m telling you, you’re not,” the voice insisted. “Just look at yourself. Your hands are shaking. Your breathing is uneven. You’re overflowing with hatred. And what is that on your head? Well? Where are you going looking like this? Have you even looked at yourself in the mirror?”
Oksana pulled a mirror out of her handbag and looked at herself.
“Well, yes,” she thought. “I do look awful.”
“But that’s not even the main thing,” the voice from above continued calmly and indifferently. “Even if you did look good—so what? What would you achieve by causing a scandal? Nothing. Both he and she would look at you with pity. And the moment you leave, they’d laugh at you together. Oh yes, they would. They’d grab each other’s hands, spin around in circles, and rejoice that it was finally all over and that you were no longer standing in their way. Well? Is that really what you want?”
If the voice from above did not calm Oksana completely, it at least gave her a chance to think more clearly.
“Well then,” Oksana thought, “I’ll simply divorce Arkady. And I’ll do it in a way that hurts him as much as possible.”
“Now that’s more like it!” she heard the voice from above say cheerfully. “That’s the spirit.”
Encouraged by that support, Oksana kept thinking rationally.
“But how do I do that?” she wondered. “How do I divorce him in a way that will hurt? In a way that will offend him?”
“How was the trip?” Oksana asked when her husband returned home three weeks later.
“You know, it went well,” Arkady replied calmly. “Though I’m tired. Dead tired. These business trips have completely worn me out.”
“And you can’t refuse them,” Oksana said thoughtfully, staring off into the distance.
“That’s exactly the problem,” Arkady answered.
“Because there’s no one but you, and you don’t want to let people down,” Oksana continued sadly.
“You understand everything, my love,” Arkady said tenderly.
“Well, maybe not everything, but a lot,” Oksana replied in the same tone.
By that time, Oksana already knew for certain that Arkady had not gone on any business trip. What was more, she even knew where—or rather, with whom—he had spent all that time. Why was she speaking to her husband so calmly? She had her reasons.
The day after Arkady left, Oksana found his passport under the sofa and froze in thought.
“That’s strange,” she thought. “How could he have gone anywhere without his passport?”
She called her husband.
“Is everything all right with you?” Oksana asked.
“Everything’s great,” Arkady replied.
“And where are you now?”
“What do you mean where? On the train.”
They spoke a little longer, and Oksana hung up.
“Either he has another passport,” she thought, “otherwise they wouldn’t have let him onto the train. Or he’s lying about everything.
And he didn’t go anywhere at all. So what does that mean? It means there’s another woman, and right now he’s with her. And tomorrow morning he’ll go to work as if nothing happened. That’s where I’ll see him.”
The next morning, Oksana went to Arkady’s workplace. At 7:50 she was standing not far from the entrance checkpoint. Five minutes later, she saw Arkady walk through it.
“So, there really is another woman,” Oksana thought. “All right. Keep yourself together. Now I need to find out where he goes after work. Then I’ll find her. And only then will we talk. I’ll come back here at the end of the workday.”
When her husband left work, Oksana followed him and learned everything.
It was not difficult at all. Some of the residents in the building he entered turned out to be very talkative. They told Oksana that her name was Vera Pavlovna. She was thirty-five. Unmarried. She had bought an apartment in that building two years earlier. And half a year ago, Arkady had appeared in her life.
Having received such valuable information, Oksana already wanted to go and speak to both her husband and Vera Pavlovna immediately. But something from above stopped her.
“Oksana!” that something from above said firmly.
“You’re not in the right state to start a showdown like that right now.”
“Why not?” Oksana protested. “I’m exactly in the right state.”
“I’m telling you—you’re not,” the voice from above insisted. “Just look at yourself. Your hands are shaking. Your breathing is uneven. You’re overflowing with hatred. And what about your hair? Hm? Where are you going looking like that? Have you even seen yourself in the mirror?”
Oksana took a small mirror from her purse and looked at herself.
“Well, yes,” she thought, “I do look awful.”
“But that’s not even the main thing,” the voice from above continued calmly and indifferently. “Even if you looked good—so what? What would you gain by making a scene? Nothing. Both he and she would look at you with pity. And after you left, they’d laugh at you together. Oh yes, they would. They’d hold hands, jump around, spin in circles, and rejoice that it was all finally over and that you were no longer in their way. Well? Do you really want that?”
If the voice from above did not calm Oksana completely, it at least helped her start thinking more rationally.
“Well then,” Oksana thought, “I’ll just divorce Arkady. And I’ll do it in a way that hurts him as much as possible.”
“Now that’s right!” the voice from above said cheerfully. “That’s our way.”
Encouraged by such support, Oksana kept thinking clearly.
“But how?” she thought. “How do I divorce him so that it hurts? So that it stings?”
“Think,” the voice from above said. “That’s what your head is for.”
“There is one way, considering his character,” Oksana thought. “A quiet, indifferent, insolently rude divorce without any explanation.”
“There you go!” the voice from above rejoiced. “You can do it when you want to.”
“I’ll tell him that we’re simply getting divorced, that’s all,” Oksana planned. “He’ll start demanding to know the reason. And I’ll calmly say there isn’t one. We’re just getting divorced, that’s all. No reason. Simply because I decided so.
Right?”
“Right,” the voice from above agreed. “And while talking to him, stay quiet and indifferent.”
“Exactly!” Oksana exclaimed happily. “Knowing his character, I’m sure he’ll absolutely lose his mind. Right?”
“Right,” the voice from above answered. “To hear from an indifferent wife that she’s leaving you—and for no reason at all—is a serious blow to a man’s pride.”
“That’s what I’ll do!”
“Do it,” the voice agreed. “But that’s not all.
If you really want to punish him—and her too—then do one more thing.”
“What?”
“I’ll tell you now,” the voice from above replied and began whispering something softly to Oksana.
Listening carefully, Oksana nodded from time to time.
“Understand everything?” the voice asked when it had finished.
“Yes,” Oksana replied. “But won’t that be too much?”
“It will!” the voice answered confidently. “Very much so. But isn’t that exactly what you want?”
“It is!” Oksana replied firmly. “I do want that!”
“The main thing,” the voice reminded her, “is to do everything quietly, brazenly, and… how?”
“Calmly,” Oksana answered.
“Correct,” the voice from above agreed joyfully.
And Oksana went home and began preparing for her husband’s return from his “business trip.”
Anniversary gifts
“I won’t start my performance the moment he comes back,” Oksana thought. “I need to lull him into a false sense of security. When he gets home, he’ll immediately start feeding me nonsense about how tired he is, how exhausting these business trips are. On the first day I’ll pretend I believe him, that I understand and sympathize. And then the next day, when he comes home from work, I’ll begin my show.”
And everything happened just as Oksana had planned.
Arkady returned from his “business trip,” talked to his wife, and concluded that he was above suspicion, that he was still loved, and therefore the happiest man in the world.
With those thoughts, Arkady went to bed.
And in the morning he went off to work, not suspecting that his happy life had already come to an end.
It all began that evening, when Arkady came home from work and Oksana did not come out to greet him.
“My love, where are you?” Arkady called joyfully from the hallway. “Your little bunny is back. Jump into my arms.”
“That’s it, Arkady,” Oksana thought as she sat silently in the kitchen. She was drinking tea and eating cake. “It’s too late. I’m not jumping into your arms anymore.”
Oksana looked at the cake and shook her head.
“You’re huge,” she thought.
“They buried me in work,” Arkady complained as soon as he walked into the kitchen. “The deadlines are on fire. The bosses are demanding results. Come on, come on, come on. They think I’m made of steel. They’re sending me on another business trip in a week. Can you imagine?”
And the performance began.
“I don’t give a damn,” Oksana replied indifferently and quietly, then loudly slurped tea from the saucer.
Oksana knew Arkady hated when she drank tea loudly from a saucer. And this time she had not cut the cake into slices. She was eating it just like that. With a tablespoon. Straight from the box.
Her answer shocked Arkady so much that for a while he lost the ability to speak. A frightened stare and a heavy silence—that was all he was capable of at that moment.
“How can this be?” he thought. “I’ve grown used to Oksana babying me for years, talking to me like I’m a little child. To her, I’m her bunny, her kitten. All that cooing and baby talk. And suddenly… she doesn’t give a damn?! What is that supposed to mean? And then the tea from the saucer! And the cake? It’s enormous! She didn’t even cut it into pieces. Didn’t put herself a separate slice on a saucer. She’s eating straight out of the box again with a spoon! What kind of habit is that? And me? What about me? Am I supposed to eat after her when she’s already dug into it? How does she imagine that? I forbade her to do that! What is this supposed to be?! Is she in her right mind? Does she even realize what she’s doing? And those words! She doesn’t give a damn! Doesn’t she understand who she’s talking to?”
Taking advantage of the long pause, Oksana continued.
“We’re getting divorced,” she said.
Oksana looked at her husband indifferently, trying to make her gaze seem as brazen as possible.
“Now I should smirk,” she thought, “and say something nasty.”
So she did.
“What are you staring at?” she asked with a smirk, brazenly, but still quietly and indifferently. “Did I say something unclear? Is it not sinking in?”
“It would be nice to throw a piece of cake at him right now,” Oksana thought. “But no. Unfortunately, I can’t. Then he’d think I was drunk or crazy.”
Still looking at her husband with shameless insolence, Oksana went on eating the huge cake with a tablespoon and slurping tea from the saucer.
“Mm?” she said with her mouth full, nodding and gesturing toward the cake with the spoon. As if asking, want some?
“Oksana!” Arkady exclaimed in astonishment at this insolence, which, in his opinion, had gone beyond all limits.
Anniversary gifts
“I don’t understand! What does all this mean?”
And Oksana continued talking to her husband in an exclusively quiet, brazen, and supremely indifferent tone.
“What don’t you understand?” she replied, without stopping eating. “Don’t you know what divorce means? Do I need to pronounce it syllable by syllable so it finally gets through your head? Fine. Di-vorce! Better? I hope everything’s clear now. I can repeat it if you want. Di-vorce. Want me to say it again?”
“No, but…”
“Well then, that’s all. And if there are no more questions, you’re free to go.”
Arkady’s thoughts were in a tangle. A lot of things confused him. First, there was the lack of baby talk and his wife’s coldly rude, indifferent behavior. Cake—with a tablespoon! Without even taking it out of the box! Unheard-of insolence. And second, there was her statement, delivered against the backdrop of all this, that they were getting divorced. Arkady did not know what outraged him more at that moment. He decided that probably the rudeness came first.
“How dare she?” he thought. “That tone! That behavior at the table! Those words! Who am I to her? Even the генеральный директор doesn’t allow himself to talk to me like that!
Though he, of course, has every right to.”
Arkady decided first to put his wife in her place, and only afterward deal with the divorce.
“All right then, girl,” he said sternly, “if you think that…”
He did not finish.
“Go to hell,” Oksana said quietly and indifferently, rose from the table, and walked into the living room. “I think,” she hiccuped, “I may have overeaten. No, that last spoonful definitely… was too much.” Oksana hiccuped again. “If you want, you can finish it.
I’m full. I’ll never eat cake again in my life.”
If until then Arkady’s thoughts had merely been confused, now there was nothing left to confuse. Every thought vanished from his head at once. Only emotions remained, and all of them were negative.
In such situations Arkady usually started breaking things, tearing things apart, smashing, wrecking, demolishing. It did not matter what—anything within reach. Dishes, for example.
Arkady grabbed a large serving dish from the table and was about to hurl it to the floor with all his strength, but…
He remembered his wife’s words about divorce. The memory calmed him a little, and he put the dish back in its place. Something resembling thoughts returned to his head.
“In this situation,” Arkady thought, “smashing dishes is pointless. This is definitely not the right moment for that. I need to think of something else. But what?”
Arkady began pacing back and forth across the kitchen, shooting hateful glances at the half-eaten cake, trying to sort out his thoughts and give them some order.
But orderly thoughts did not calm him. They produced an alarming assumption.
“What if Oksana found out about Vera?” Arkady thought, but immediately pulled himself together. “No,” he decided. “That can’t be it. If she had, that’s what she would have started with. She would have made a scene. Thrown me out of the house. But she didn’t. Besides, she even offered me the rest of the cake. So it’s something else. But what?”
Arkady decided to find out what his wife knew.
“Oksana, let’s talk calmly,” Arkady said, entering the living room and sitting down in an armchair opposite his wife.
“Get lost, will you?” Oksana replied with a yawn. “Can’t you see I’m resting? Lord, why did I eat so much cake…” She looked at her husband. “You don’t know, do you?”
“No, but I…”
“Well then, get out if you don’t know.”
“What’s going on, Oksana? I don’t understand.”
“God, you’re so dull and tedious. How do they even keep you at work? Why do they pay you a salary, I have no idea. Tell me, do your subordinates respect you? I don’t think they do. What would they respect you for? You’re probably just as tedious at work.”
“Oksana, I’m telling you again. I want to know what is going on. I don’t understand!”
“We’re getting divorced. What’s so hard to understand about that?”
“Why all of a sudden?”
“For no reason. Just because. We’re getting divorced, that’s all.”
“That’s not how it works.”
“It does.”
“So this is your decision?”
“It’s my decision.”
“But there has to be some reason why you made it.”
“I made it, that’s all. There are no reasons.”
“What do you mean?”
“‘What do you mean, what do you mean!’” Oksana snapped. “You sound like a parrot. There were no reasons. And why do there have to be reasons? What more do you want from me? What else do you want to hear?”
“Maybe you’ve grown tired of me?”
“Oh, leave me alone.”
“Maybe you don’t love me?”
“What does that have to do with anything? Couldn’t you think of anything more stupid?”
“Then why?”
“There is no why. Just because. No reason.”
Listening to his wife’s illogical answers, Arkady had no idea that an even harsher ordeal still awaited him.
After all, Oksana had decided to punish him not only with her cold, causeless rudeness, but also with one more thing—the thing whispered to her from above.
“Did someone tell you something about me, Oksana? Is that why you decided to divorce me? Yes?”
“Don’t be stupid, will you?”
“Oksana, are you now…”
“No one told me anything. As if I cared. Get off my back.”
“You found out something about me, didn’t you? Let’s talk. I’ll explain everything.”
“You really are stubborn. Like that boy who fell in love with me in sixth grade. He demanded that I love him back and just couldn’t understand why I didn’t. He thought I knew something bad about him. Wanted to know the reason. But he was a child, so it was forgivable. But you? I don’t know anything about you. And I don’t want to know. Why should I, if we’re getting divorced?”
“But why are we getting divorced? Why? Can you explain?”
“For heaven’s sake!”
“There is no why. Just because. We’re getting divorced, that’s all. Leave me alone, will you? Honestly, why are you pestering me? I’ve overeaten. I want to sleep.”
“Do you have someone else? Do you love him?”
“I don’t have anyone else.”
“Maybe you think I have someone?”
“I don’t think anything. Why would I?”
“Then why? Answer me! I demand it!”
“There is no why. We’re getting divorced, that’s all. And let’s stop this. Honestly, I have no strength left. I’m sick of it. Get out.”
But Arkady would not give up and was already about to say something else when suddenly the doorbell rang.
“There it is!” Oksana thought joyfully. “The second act of the ballet.”
“You’d better go open the door,” Oksana said.
Arkady opened the door and saw that both his daughters had arrived—his elder daughter Inna and his younger daughter Nonna.
“My girls!” Arkady exclaimed joyfully. “How good that you came. How perfectly timed. If only you knew what has happened here. If only you…”
“Get to the point,” Nonna asked brazenly, quietly, and indifferently. “What happened? Why are you shouting?”
“Get to the point?” Arkady thought. “Shouting? Is this my younger daughter?
No, this can’t be her. This is some kind of hooligan!”
“I’m not shouting,” Arkady began to justify himself. “I’m talking.”
“Then talk,” Inna said, “instead of mumbling.”
“Your mother wants to divorce me!” Arkady answered.
“So what?” Inna said. “Big deal.”
“But she won’t name the reason! She won’t explain why!”
Oksana came out into the hallway.
“Do you girls want some cake?” she asked her daughters. “There’s a lot of it, and I’ve already stuffed myself.”
“We do,” the daughters replied.
“It’s in the kitchen,” Oksana said.
Inna and Nonna went into the kitchen. Oksana switched off the light in the hallway and went back into the living room. Arkady remained alone in the dark hallway. He was still trying to understand how such a thing was possible.
Usually, when his daughters came to visit, they joyfully threw themselves into his arms.
They asked him how he was doing. Told him about their own lives. Arkady remembered how Inna had been born thirty years ago, and Nonna five years after her. He remembered how the girls grew up, went to kindergarten, to school, to university. How they got married. How they became mothers. And all that time they had been the best of friends.
And now? What did he see and feel now? A contemptuous gaze. A brazen tone. And most of all—absolute indifference.
Why were his daughters behaving with such insolence and indifference? Well, of course, because Oksana had told them everything. And when the daughters found out how their father had betrayed their mother, they immediately agreed to help their mother punish him.
It had been the voice from above that suggested Oksana tell the daughters everything and enlist them as accomplices. It was sure that in this way both of them would be punished—
both Arkady and Vera Pavlovna.
And now, after standing a while longer in the dark hallway, Arkady decided to go into the kitchen. He intended to speak seriously with his girls. He wanted both to explain and to receive an explanation.
When he entered the kitchen, he saw the daughters finishing the cake with tablespoons.
“There had been more than half left,” he thought. “They ate it all and left me nothing. They didn’t even offer me any. These are not my daughters.”
“What do you want?” Nonna asked.
“Want some cake?”
“There isn’t any more,” Inna said.
“No, but… the cake has nothing to do with this. Though you could have left a piece for your father and not eaten it straight from the box with spoons. I taught you that…”
“Got it,” Nonna said. “Anything else?”
“I told you. Your mother wants a divorce. But she won’t say why. She’s hiding something! But I know there has to be a reason. I’m only interested in that. I’m not asking for anything extraordinary. Just let her answer one question. Why?”
“Why is it like this with you?” Inna asked.
“With whom?”
“With men,” Nonna replied.
“What do you mean? What about us? And what does that have to do with me?”
Inna and Nonna spoke to their father in exactly the same tone Oksana had used—brazenly, indifferently, and quietly.
“Why is it,” Inna said, “that as soon as you’re told someone wants to divorce you, you immediately start looking for reasons? I don’t understand.”
“What reasons do you need, Dad?” Nonna said. “Wake up. What century do you live in?”
“Nowadays women leave their husbands without any reasons at all,” Inna added.
“How is that possible?”
“That’s how,” Nonna said. “Without reasons.”
“But why?!”
“There is no why!” Inna and Nonna answered in unison.
“Because the time comes,” Nonna continued alone, “and a woman decides to divorce.”
“And that means it’s time for you, Dad,” Inna added.
“What does that mean, ‘time for me’?” Arkady asked, confused. “Time for me to do what?”
“This apartment belongs to Mom,” Inna answered. “She’s divorcing you. You’re leaving.”
“Leaving where?”
“Wherever you want,” Nonna replied. “It would probably be best for you right now if you found yourself another woman. In the meantime, you can stay in the village with Grandma.”
“What other woman? I don’t have any other woman! And what grandmother am I supposed to stay with?”
Oksana came into the kitchen.
“Grandma means your mother,” she answered. “Forgot already? And as for not having another woman—go find one. What’s the problem? I’ve already packed your things. The suitcases are in the hallway. Leave.”
“No! No, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Leave, Dad,” Nonna said. “It’ll be better for everyone this way.”
Arkady looked at Inna.
“My daughter…”
“Oh, stop it,” Inna replied with disgust. “They’re showing you the door, and you… you’re behaving like… It’s disgusting. Give Grandma our regards. Tell her we’ll come visit her in a week.”
“And mind this, Dad,” Nonna added, “if you keep behaving like this, even some other woman will leave you for no reason.”
“What other woman?”
“The one you’re bound to meet,” Oksana answered.
“But I’m not going to…”
“That’s your problem,” Oksana said.
“If you’re not going to, then don’t. This conversation is over. We’ve wasted enough time on you already. Get out.”
Oksana almost added, “to your Vera Pavlovna,” but something from above stopped her just in time.
Otherwise, she would have ruined the whole performance. Arkady would have guessed immediately why he was being thrown out and why she was divorcing him. And the effect would not have been the same.
But now long and agonizing thoughts about what had happened lay ahead of him—thoughts that would cost him his sleep, his appetite, even his interest in work, and most importantly, would fill him with complete indifference toward Vera Pavlovna.
