“Gray in the beard, devil in the ribs,” I thought when I saw an incomprehensible tattoo on my husband’s wrist: a cartoon little ram with half of a broken heart floating above its head.
“Listen, I understand everything, of course,” I said with a sigh. “A midlife crisis and whatever else I know absolutely nothing about. But why did you do it?”
“I felt like it,” my husband shrugged.
“You were on a business trip, and suddenly you felt like getting a tattoo?” I asked again.
“Yes, Natasha, I was on a business trip, I felt like getting a tattoo,” Sasha answered irritably. “Why are you picking on me? I’m not fifteen, and I don’t have to ask permission. We were at a restaurant, celebrating a successful deal, and then someone suggested going to a tattoo parlor…”
“And all of you got tattoos like that?”
“No!” he snapped. “Everyone got different tattoos. I don’t understand what you want to hear from me.”
“The truth, Sasha,” I replied. “Because it seems to me that if there’s a man somewhere in the world with a ram tattoo, then somewhere nearby there must be a girl wandering around with a sheep tattoo.”
“So you’re just jealous,” he smirked. “You’re always imagining things. Natasha, I don’t have any mistress. I got this tattoo on impulse. At that moment, it seemed funny to me. Can you finally stop being jealous of every lamppost? I don’t know what’s happened to you. But you’ve changed a lot.”
There was some truth in my husband’s words. Lately, I really had become overly suspicious. But I had my reasons. Six months earlier, Sasha had started behaving very strangely. He joined a gym, changed his hairstyle, and carefully made sure he dressed fashionably. Back then, I immediately thought it was not without reason. I shared my fears with my best friend, but she only laughed at me and assured me that my husband was simply having a midlife crisis. That he was afraid of getting old, and that was why he was acting so strangely.
But before, he had never done everything possible to improve his appearance. And that strange tattoo did not suit him at all. It was odd and somehow unfinished. And that unfinished quality bothered me most of all. It gave the impression that it was one of those matching tattoos that couples in love get for themselves…
Although, when I thought about it, my husband was not an idiot. If he really were cheating on me, he probably wouldn’t do it so openly. Most likely, he really had gotten carried away while celebrating a successful deal and hadn’t even realized what he had done until he sobered up.
In the end, I managed to convince myself that I really was imagining some nonsense. Yes, Sasha had done something foolish by choosing such a design, but these days any tattoo could be removed fairly easily.
For an entire week, peace and calm reigned in our house. True, every day Sasha teased me about my sudden burst of jealousy.
“That’s enough,” I asked him. “I’d like to see you if you suddenly saw something like that on my hand.”
“Well, I definitely wouldn’t accuse you of cheating,” he assured me.
“We’ll never know that,” I shrugged, drained my coffee in one gulp, and went to wash the mug.
“Are you going somewhere?” my husband asked. “It’s your day off.”
“Sasha, I told you I have to go to Mom’s today.”
“Right,” he nodded. “Completely slipped my mind. So you’ll be gone all day?”
“No, just for a couple of hours. We’ve already chosen the restaurant where we’ll celebrate her anniversary. We only need to decide on the menu.”
“Maybe your brother could handle that?” Sasha asked with displeasure. “He’s also a member of your family, but he always acts like it has nothing to do with him.”
“Vasya has too much on his plate right now,” I replied, grabbed my bag, and hurried toward the door before my husband could start his favorite lecture about my brother’s irresponsibility.
In reality, Vasya was very responsible, and he helped our mother a great deal. But lately, he really had been overwhelmed. His business was going terribly, while his wife and stepdaughter demanded more and more money from him. In the long fifteen years of their marriage, my brother’s wife had never managed to become part of our family simply because she had never wanted to. I had tried to find common ground with her, but at some point I realized it was useless. My sister-in-law remained cold and inaccessible, like the Snow Queen, and her daughter was exactly the same. My brother had raised her since she was four, yet she still treated him like a stranger who had intruded into their family.
But as soon as I entered my mother’s house, I saw my brother Vasya sitting at the table in front of a mug of tea.
“Hi. You said you wouldn’t be able to come,” I said, taking off my coat.
“Yes, well, I decided to get away after all,” he spread his hands and smiled. “At least I’ll rest from my henhouse for a couple of hours.”
“Is it that bad?”
“Oh, you know,” he waved it off. “I had to invest quite a lot in advertising, and when Svetka found out, she started screeching that she needed to change her car, and I had wasted money on nonsense. Can you imagine? Advertising my business is nonsense to her.”
“If I were you, I would have run away from her long ago,” I sighed.
“Come on, it’s not all that bad,” he shrugged. “But the little daughter has completely lost her mind. And Sveta pays no attention to it. She says she’s already nineteen and has the right to do whatever she wants.”
“And what has she done this time?” I asked with a sigh.
“That fool got herself a tattoo. And it would be one thing if it were somewhere hidden, but no, right on her wrist. And she chose a stupid design too: a cartoon sheep with half a heart above its head.”
I slowly sank onto a chair and stared at my brother without blinking. So the girl with the sheep tattoo did exist after all…
“Natasha, why have you gone so pale?” Vasily asked worriedly.
“Everything’s fine. I just felt a little dizzy,” I lied, forcing out a smile. “Where’s Mom?”
“She’ll be down soon.”
I nodded and lowered my eyes to my clasped hands. I must not give in to panic. The fact that Inessa had a tattoo proved nothing. She was young and beautiful; why would she need to get involved with my husband, who would turn fifty next year? This had to be some kind of mistake.
But I had to see the drawing on her wrist to make sure. Only how could I do that if neither Inessa herself nor her arrogant mother spoke to me? We would only see each other in a week at Mom’s anniversary celebration… And it looked as if I would have to be patient.
When Mom joined my brother and me, I had to make every effort to pretend everything was fine. All I did was repeat to myself: I must keep myself under control. Maybe this was all some kind of mistake. But for some reason, the thought kept pounding in my head that I had been right from the very beginning. But could Sasha really be capable of something like that? He hadn’t just found himself a mistress; he had gotten involved with my own brother’s stepdaughter. This was definitely some mistake. Just a stupid coincidence… After all, my husband had gotten his tattoo while he was on a business trip, and Inessa had most likely used one of the local tattoo parlors. So it really was just a foolish accident. Just a coincidence…
Sasha and I drove separately to the restaurant for Mom’s anniversary celebration. I had to bring the birthday woman to the party, while he, as always, was delayed at the office, buried in one of his super-important projects. Over the past few days, I had almost managed to convince myself that Sasha was faithful to me. And the tattoo proved nothing. Inessa could have chosen the sketch on the internet.
As soon as we drove up to the restaurant, I immediately noticed Vasya and his wife standing by the entrance, talking about something with our uncle. I did not notice Inessa right away. Or rather, I did not recognize her immediately. For her grandmother’s birthday, the girl had chosen a rather revealing strapless dress in bright red. In my opinion, it was not the most suitable outfit for someone so young. But Inessa felt more than confident. Every now and then she laughed loudly, throwing her head back to show off her elegant neck. The girl’s blue-black hair was gathered into an elegant high hairstyle, and long earrings swayed in her ears. But I could not make out the tattoo on her hand because of a wide bracelet. It seemed she had prepared well in order to hide it. For a moment, I had the impression that my husband’s step-niece had decided this was her celebration. I did not like it much, but I decided to keep silent so as not to spoil Mom’s mood.
My husband appeared about fifteen minutes later. All evening he stayed close to me and did not even look in Inessa’s direction. Gradually, I relaxed and forgot all my suspicions. It seemed I really had been mistaken.
What could my husband possibly have in common with that mercenary little girl? Sasha was intelligent, well-read, refined. He would never pay attention to such a flirt.
At the end of the celebration, I warned my husband that I needed to take Mom home. Sasha was understanding about it, helped us load the bouquets of flowers into the back seat of the car, waved to me, and disappeared. I was already about to leave when I remembered that I had forgotten my neck scarf.
“Mom, sit here for a little while. I’ll be right back.”
I quickly went to the restaurant doors, pushed them open, and my eyes landed on my husband, who was pressing Inessa to himself and whispering something in her ear. It felt as if the ground had disappeared from under my feet. I stared at them, unable to utter a single word. My whole life flashed before my eyes. Sasha’s and my first meeting, our first date, our first kiss. The love notes I still kept in my desk drawer, the pressed daisies he had given me before leaving for the army, and the huge stacks of letters filled with longing and love. I stood there, unable to move, and of course, in the end, I attracted my husband’s attention.
“Natasha?” he frowned. “What are you doing here? You were supposed to take your mother home.”
“Is that all you can say right now?” I asked hoarsely.
“No, not all,” he smirked. “But I don’t think we should talk here. Take your mother home and come back to our house. We’ll be waiting for you there. And Natasha, I don’t advise you to make a scene. Act like a wise woman.”
I turned around and walked toward the exit on stiff legs. Everything was swimming before my eyes. I approached my car and stopped to cope with the tears rising in my throat. No, I would not cry because of this. He was not worth it.
I myself understood that getting behind the wheel in such a state was dangerous, but I still went around the car and opened the driver’s door.
“Natasha, wait,” my brother’s voice reached me.
I lifted my eyes, looked into his, and immediately understood that he had known everything. Apparently, he had not told me about that ill-fated tattoo for no reason. He had wanted to warn me in such a strange way. But why hadn’t he simply told me directly? Why had he needed to play this game of charades?
“How could you?” I breathed quietly.
“What do I have to do with it?” he asked, bewildered. “I’m not the one who cheated on you. Sasha did. What could I do? Inessa is an adult. I can’t forbid her from dating men.”
“Are you serious right now? How long have you known?”
“What difference does it make?” he muttered, hiding his eyes.
“Vasya, how long have you known?” I repeated my question.
“Practically from the very beginning,” he sighed. “But I couldn’t tell you. Sasha forbade me.”
“And since when do you listen to my husband?”
“His business is in trouble, and your husband was helping him stay afloat,” came my mother’s voice as she got out of the car.
“You knew too?” I whispered sharply, turning around.
“I thought it would all end soon. Either Inessa or your husband would eventually get tired of adjusting to each other, but sincere feelings developed between them,” Mom sighed. “You can’t blame them for falling in love with each other, can you?”
“I can’t believe this,” I whispered, stepped away from the car, turned, and walked off.
I wanted to run away from those traitors as quickly as possible. They had known… They had all known everything, but not one of them had thought they should tell me. Vasya had covered for my husband for the sake of his own well-being, and Mom had not wanted her beloved son to lose his business. How could they look me in the eye? Did their consciences not torment them?
My brother tried to catch up with me and grab my arm, but I pushed him away and kept walking. The sound of my heels echoed across the restaurant parking lot. With every step, pain gripped my heart more tightly. I choked on muffled sobs, but I did not allow a single tear to fall. I was strong. I always coped, and I would survive this too. I would take everything into my own hands and, to spite those traitors, destroy their entire fragile little world, while I myself would begin living a peaceful and happy life.
I took a deep, trembling breath and shoved my hand into my coat pocket. My phone had stayed in the car, but in my pocket I found a bunch of keys. There was not only the key to our country house, but also the key to the apartment I had bought especially for myself. Sometimes, because of work, I stayed very late at the office, and it was more convenient for me to spend the night in the city. I had a long way ahead of me, but that did not frighten me. Right now, I could use some fresh air.
I had no money for a taxi or public transport, so I proudly lifted my chin and walked forward, trying not to remember what had happened. Because those memories caused me too much pain. About twenty minutes later, I reached a bus stop and froze at the traffic light. I calmly waited for the green light when a car slowed down beside me. I did not even turn my head, ignoring what was happening. The window of the foreign car slowly lowered.
“Hello, Natasha,” I heard a vaguely familiar voice. “I was looking and wondering whether it was you or not.”
“Do we know each other?” I asked, shifting my clouded gaze to the driver.
“Of course we do,” he nodded. “We studied together at the institute. It’s me, Listyev.”
“Egor?” I asked, frowning.
“Yes,” he nodded. “Recognize me now? What are you doing here at this hour?”
“I’m walking home,” I answered calmly.
“Get in, my friend. I’ll drive you home. You shouldn’t be wandering through the city at night in this state.”
Egor did not have to ask twice. I instantly agreed to accept his generous offer. I quickly slipped into the car and fastened my seat belt.
“Thank you for offering to give me a ride.”
“Don’t mention it,” he answered, slightly confused. “Listen, did something happen to you? You look strange. Did someone hurt you?”
“You could say that,” I nodded.
“Natasha, you can tell me everything,” he said and pulled away.
“I wouldn’t like to do that,” I replied.
“All right, as you wish. But you’ll at least give me the address where I should take you?”
“Leninsky Prospect,” I sighed and closed my eyes.
“Consider it done,” Egor smiled, glancing sideways at me.
“Thank you,” I repeated again.
We reached the right building in about fifteen minutes. But as soon as my former classmate turned into the courtyard, I saw my brother’s and husband’s cars.
“No,” I said quietly. “Egor, we can’t go here. Turn around. Take me away from here.”
“All right,” he nodded grimly, casting a wary glance at Sasha and Vasily. “Natasha, maybe you’ll explain to me what’s going on? Then I’ll be able to help you.”
“No one can help me,” I dropped and turned away.
“I just recognized your husband. You two used to be inseparable, didn’t you? I think you had been together since school.”
“That’s right,” I agreed. “We dated since school. I waited for him from the army, then we got married, and our son was born.”
“A son?” he smiled. “That’s wonderful. I don’t have children. And I’ve never been married either. I kept thinking I needed to build a career first, get on my feet, buy an apartment, a car… In the end, before I had time to look around, all the brides had already been snatched up. But no one is to blame. I dragged it out too long myself. Where is your son now?”
“In Dubai,” I replied. “He’s been working there for a couple of years already. He’s always busy and not especially eager to visit us. I always thought he and I were close enough, but at some point he announced that he was dropping out of university and would work for his friend’s father. I haven’t seen him since.”
“That’s sad,” Egor admitted. “But I’m sure you’ll make peace with him.”
“Well, it’s not as if we quarreled,” I shrugged.
“But it seems he doesn’t see it that way,” he said thoughtfully. “Where should I take you? Maybe to your mother’s?”
