“Vasya! Vasily! Can you hear me or not? Where are you? Answer me! Oh, as usual—you’re glued to that beloved computer of yours!” his wife exclaimed indignantly. “Will you tear yourself away from it already? How many times do I have to call you?”
“What do you want?” her husband replied irritably. He had already reached the final stage of his favorite game. “You just won’t leave me alone. Even on weekends I can’t get any peace from you!”
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“We need to go to the country house, Vasya. We have to harvest the vegetables. Shall we go? Everything must be ripe by now—tomatoes, peppers, eggplants. We should pick them; we haven’t been there all week. Luckily, the rain did the watering for us, so at least we don’t have to do that. But I’m sure the weeds have taken over too. Come on, let’s go.”
“Listen, why don’t you go by yourself? What, you can’t harvest the vegetables without me? Have some pity on me. I’m so exhausted after this week at work that all I want right now is some peace and quiet.”
“Vasya, please, let’s go. I don’t want to go alone,” Marina continued insisting. “And I promised your mother I’d bring her some vegetables. Then she’ll make vegetable spread for us and preserve it in jars, and we’ll eat it all winter. It’s delicious!”
“Marina, go by yourself. I’m telling you, I don’t want to drag myself out to that country house! First the dacha, then we’ll have to sit at Mom’s for another two or three hours while you two discuss every piece of gossip you can think of. You can pick everything slowly, without rushing. Get some fresh air. Then stop by Mom’s place. She’ll probably feed you lunch—she’s most likely baked some pies. You can have dinner there too, so you won’t even have to cook. Perfect! And meanwhile I’ll finally catch up on all the sleep I’ve missed this week,” Vasily tried to persuade his wife.
“Oh, you’re such a lazybones, Vasya! A complete lump! When did you become like this?” Marina wondered aloud.
“Well, you used to be different too—you were young and beautiful!” her husband replied with a smile.
“Oh, really? So that’s how it is, huh? Just you wait!” Marina exclaimed, pretending to be offended as she threw a sofa cushion at him. “So now I’m ugly and old, am I? What nerve!”
But there was nothing to be done. Someone had to go. Marina began getting ready for the country house. Truthfully, she did not particularly feel like going either. She would have happily spent her day off lying on the sofa. But chores were chores, and her mother-in-law was waiting. Marina had spoken with her just yesterday about the vegetables.
“Oh, why don’t you take Mom with you?” Vasily suddenly suggested. “She’d be happy to go to the dacha with you. And she can help you there. It’ll be more fun for the two of you.”
“That’s a good idea. I’ll call Anfisa Romanovna right now and ask if she’d like to keep me company,” Marina replied, taking her mobile phone out of her handbag.
Her mother-in-law was pleasantly surprised and immediately agreed. After changing into a tracksuit and a pair of old, comfortable sneakers, and gathering bags, baskets, and buckets, Marina set off. She got behind the wheel of her beloved car and drove toward Anfisa Romanovna’s house.
It was worth noting that her mother-in-law had prepared thoroughly for the trip. She had brewed fragrant herbal tea in a thermos and added some of her signature cherry jam to it. She had also made sandwiches with sausage and cheese. Everything was neatly packed and handed over to her pleasantly surprised daughter-in-law.
“You’re as impressive as ever!”
“Well, what can I say? I love having a snack outdoors,” her mother-in-law said while they drove. “Any food tastes better in the fresh air. We’ll finish everything at the plot, Marisha—pick the whole harvest, pull out the weeds—and then we’ll sit in the gazebo and have a proper snack. How does that sound? Nice, right?”
“Sounds good, Anfisa Romanovna. I have to praise you for taking the initiative,” Marina replied as she skillfully maneuvered between cars on the busy Saturday road. “Honestly, I didn’t even think about bringing food. I spent all my time trying to persuade Vasya to come with me, but he refused.”
“What a lazy man!” her husband’s mother said with a smile.
Thanks to the lively conversation with her sociable mother-in-law, the drive felt pleasant and short. Marina barely noticed how quickly they reached the gardening community where their plot was located.
Despite it being a weekend, there were surprisingly few people around. Apparently, by the end of summer everyone had decided to relax and take a break from working on their garden plots, making the most of the last hot days at the beach.
As Marina approached their property, she noticed with annoyance how badly everything around it had become overgrown. The rain that had been falling for the previous two weeks had done its job.
“Oh, I’m sure the whole plot is buried in weeds now,” she said. “We’ll have to search for our vegetables in the jungle.”
“That doesn’t scare us!” her mother-in-law replied cheerfully. “We’ll find them, as long as there’s something there to find.”
But after unloading the containers for the vegetables and walking onto the property, the two women were left completely speechless.
What they saw was both unbelievable and outrageous.
Right there in Marina’s garden beds, behaving as though she owned the place, was their neighbor Zinaida. Her twenty-year-old daughter was with her. Zina’s plot was two lots away from Marina and Vasily’s. Marina knew the woman well because the neighbor was constantly coming over to ask for something—salt, sugar, matches, whatever she happened to need.
“Oh, I’m dying for a cup of tea. I’m completely worn out, so tired, I need a break. And wouldn’t you know it, I forgot the sugar at home. I packed it and still left it behind. And I don’t have a single piece of candy either, just my luck,” Zinaida had once complained to Marina, fanning herself with a burdock leaf.
“Here, take this. I don’t need it. We brought it last time but never used it,” Marina had said, sharing her sugar with the neighbor.
“You don’t happen to have any candy too, do you?” Zina asked while taking the sugar.
“No, I don’t. We don’t eat candy at all,” Marina replied irritably, because she could not stand people who were so shamelessly pushy.
Now, however, the thieves filling their buckets with someone else’s harvest were so absorbed in what they were doing that they did not even notice the owner arriving. They talked loudly to each other, joked, and even laughed, apparently unconcerned about being seen or heard by the other neighbors. Judging by their brazen behavior, they felt entirely at home.
“Zinaida?” Marina called out. “You haven’t mixed up the plots by any chance, have you? Or did you decide to help us harvest?”
“Huh? What?” Both women abruptly straightened up, each still holding a freshly picked, plump tomato.
Nearby stood buckets and bags already filled to the brim with peppers and eggplants. It was obvious that the two villains had been working there for quite some time and had already stripped Marina’s garden of a considerable amount of produce.
“So you’re stealing, are you? Well, well! Do you have any conscience at all? You’re our neighbors!” Marina continued, confronting the slightly flustered women directly. “Aren’t you ashamed?”
Her mother-in-law had not yet said a word, still stunned by what she was seeing.
“Marinochka, hello!” the crafty Zinaida quickly recovered. “Who’s stealing? What are you talking about? What a rude word to use! It’s unpleasant even to hear. Actually, it’s a good thing you arrived. I didn’t know what to think anymore. I’ve been worried sick here!”
“And what exactly were you worried about, you bandit?” the stern Anfisa Romanovna suddenly spoke up. “Couldn’t stop thinking about someone else’s property? You should be ashamed of yourself—a grown woman behaving like this! And you even dragged your daughter into your criminal enterprise. You’ve formed an entire gang, an organized crime group! What is the world coming to?”
“What are you talking about? Why are you insulting us? We simply decided to save your harvest. Yes, yes, that’s exactly what happened! My daughter came here by car this morning. She said, ‘Mom, let’s take the vegetables to the market. We’ll sell them—people will snatch them up because they’re so fresh and ripe. And when the owners of the dacha arrive, we’ll give them the money.’ That’s what we wanted to do! We didn’t want the vegetables to rot in the garden or go to waste. You haven’t been here for days! And the first thing you do is call us thieves and accuse us of running some criminal operation! You start labeling people without even understanding the situation!” Zinaida declared, regaining her confidence.
She even planted her hands on her hips for greater effect and stared at the newcomers with an extremely self-assured and shameless expression.
“Oh! So that’s what it’s called now? Not theft, but caring for your neighbor? Well, you’ve truly amazed me, Zinaida. I haven’t been this surprised in a long time,” Marina replied unhappily.
“Yes, caring! That’s exactly what it is. My daughter and I have been standing here bent over your garden beds since early this morning. We’ve been working hard, picking everything so that none of it spoils. Look—we helped you harvest everything. You arrived, and now you don’t have to do anything because it’s already been picked. You could at least say thank you. Instead, you immediately start causing a scandal,” the cynical Zinaida continued.
“And if we call the local police officer right now, do you think he’ll accept your version of events?” Marina asked with a poisonous smile.
“Oh Lord, why involve the police? What for? We’ve explained everything to you. And all your produce is still right here, in the bags and buckets. Nothing is missing. Look for yourselves. You can even check. Everything’s here—the peppers, the eggplants, the tomatoes. We even cut the green onions because they would have gone to waste anyway, Marinochka. Autumn is almost here, and I’ve noticed you barely eat them. People at the market buy them very well. Freshly cut parsley sells quickly too.”
“You cut the parsley and onions as well? That’s beyond shameless!” Marina shouted. “Maybe you cleaned out our little house too? Took everything that wasn’t nailed down? We need to check immediately whether everything inside is still there!”
“They didn’t have time for the house, Marinochka. What house? What are you talking about? They were too busy rushing to harvest everything so they could hurry off to the market! They can inspect the house later, calmly, this evening,” her mother-in-law remarked sarcastically.
“Why do you keep repeating the same thing? We’re not thieves! We’re honest people. We only wanted to help you…”
“Honest people don’t sneak around other people’s property,” her mother-in-law delivered her verdict.
“And I suppose the reason everything you picked is still here is simply because you hadn’t had time to carry it away yet,” Marina added, glancing at the buckets and bags of vegetables standing nearby. “You were simply unlucky that we arrived this early. You really didn’t expect to see us today, did you? Miscalculated? Or were you counting on a thief’s luck?” the owner of the dacha continued with a displeased expression.
“Marina, stop it, please! Why do you keep saying the same thing? What kind of thieves are we? You’ve known me for years! I was only acting with the best intentions…”
“That’s it!” Anfisa Romanovna suddenly shouted so loudly that everyone jumped. “These people, motivated by nothing but the purest intentions, got up at five in the morning, abandoned all their own affairs, and selflessly came to someone else’s property to save the harvest. What heroism! What self-sacrifice! I believe this deserves a reward. What do you think, Marina?”
Her daughter-in-law stared at her in confusion, unable to understand what had come over her. Then she noticed Anfisa Romanovna wink and understood immediately—something entertaining was about to happen. Anfisa Romanovna loved putting on little performances for unsuspecting people.
“Well… yes,” Zinaida said, slightly confused herself and hardly able to believe her luck. “See? An older woman, wise and experienced. She understood everything immediately and managed to make sense of the situation.”
“Of course! I understood perfectly. It wasn’t difficult at all. And you can’t imagine how delighted my good friend, Police General Arnold Mikhailovich, will be—the man we’ve been renting this dacha from for years. You didn’t know that? No? Really? Why, Arnold has kindly allowed our family to use this property for years.”
“What did you say? A police general?” Zinaida asked in a strange voice. “Are you serious?”
“Do I look like I’m joking? Of course I’m serious. A real general. Many, many years ago Arnold even proposed marriage to me. Of course, he wasn’t a general back then. And to be completely honest, I was already in love with my Vitya. But Arnold never stopped loving me. All these years he’s secretly remained in love with me behind his wife’s back. But that’s not important right now—I seem to have gotten distracted,” Anfisa Romanovna suddenly said sternly. “Bring me your passports! Quickly! Move! Immediately!”
“What? What passports? Why?” Zinaida asked, frightened again after having just started to relax.
“What do you mean, why? I’ll give your documents to the real owner of this dacha, Arnold Mikhailovich. He’ll enter your information wherever it needs to go, and at the same time he can arrange a reward for your tireless vigilance, concern, and dedication to protecting the harvest. And besides, if anything should happen here in the future, he’ll already have all the necessary information—who you are, why you were here, and what you were doing!”
The neighbors stood silently, as though struck by lightning, not yet knowing how to respond.
“Well, go get your passports! Why are you frozen there? Two minutes ago you were moving so quickly while working in someone else’s garden. Meanwhile, I’ll call Arnold so I can dictate everything to him immediately, straight from the documents, as they say. Go on. I’ll chat with him about old times while I wait. We have plenty to remember. Go!” her mother-in-law said, waving her hand in the direction they should leave.
With a confident movement, Anfisa Romanovna pulled her mobile phone out of her handbag and actually began dialing a number.
“Uh… wait! Stop! What was your name again… I don’t know!” Zinaida shouted.
“Mine? Anfisa Romanovna. Did you want to add something?” she asked with exaggerated surprise.
“Don’t! Don’t call your general! We understand everything! This will never happen again! I promise you, we’ll never set foot across the boundary of this property again!” Zina rattled off loudly.
“Too late now, darling. It’s done. The country must know its heroes. You’ve waged such a heroic battle for the harvest that it’s simply unbelievable! You’ve invested so much effort and demonstrated such resourcefulness. No, no, bring your passports. I’ll write down all your details right now and send them to the regional Interior Ministry department where Arnold Mikhailovich works.”
“We’re not bringing you anything! What a ridiculous idea—the favorite lady of some general!” Zinaida suddenly snapped back. “Come on, daughter, let’s get out of here! We were never here, and that’s that! Nobody can prove anything. And drop that tomato already! Why are you clinging to it? All your vegetables are right there. You can check and count them if you like. But you don’t need to write down our information. There’s no reason!”
The shameless thieves quickly left Marina’s property without looking back even once. Marina and her mother-in-law laughed for a long time afterward at such a successful ending to an unpleasant incident.
“What brazen women! Just look at what people are capable of! Some people have no conscience left at all. At least they didn’t manage to carry anything away and sell it at the market as they were planning.”
“Yes, our timing was perfect, Marisha! If we’d arrived twenty minutes later, we probably would have been left without any harvest at all,” her mother-in-law remarked.
“But on the other hand, it worked out well for us too—we don’t have to harvest anything ourselves. Almost everything has already been picked. So at least those thieves were useful for something. Maybe we really should give Zinaida a certificate of appreciation?”
Her mother-in-law merely smiled, remembering her little performance. What an actress—such talent going to waste!
“Now we’ll pull out some weeds, drink your fragrant tea with those sandwiches, and head home. Then we’ll relax.”
“That’s exactly what we’ll do,” Anfisa Romanovna replied. “Otherwise Arnold Mikhailovich will be wondering where I am!”
The women burst into hearty laughter.
All’s well that ends well.
