At the party, Sergey proudly told the guests he’d soon own an expensive boat. Larisa had already agreed to spend the money from selling her father’s summer home on it. But as they gathered at the festive table, it became clear what kind of place he saw for his wife in these plans.
«Diamonds are for ladies, a ladle is good enough for you!» Sergey lifted his glass and looked at me as if he’d told the funniest joke of the evening.
Right then, I was serving fish soup. The ladle clinked against the edge of the plate and a few drops landed on the tablecloth. Sergey didn’t even notice. He nodded at Elena’s ring—she’s Roman’s wife—and kept going:
«Now Roman knows how to make a woman happy. But our Larisa is more delighted by new kitchenware than any jewelry. At least our guests never leave hungry.»
Roman started laughing, but stopped short when he caught his wife’s expression. Elena adjusted the napkin on her lap. I served Sergey’s plate and sat on an empty chair. My legs ached under the table—from early morning I’d been cooking for four, while my husband handled music and chatted on the phone.
We celebrated his birthday at our house in the country. Sergey turned fifty-six. He really knew how to throw a nice evening, always telling funny stories from his business, remembering everyone’s hobbies. That’s why his jokes usually brought a smile. He loved when all eyes were on him.
«Next time we’ll party out on the water,» he said. «The boat is ordered. Once we confirm payment by the tenth, we can arrange delivery. Roma, you’ll be the first I take for a spin.»
«So you finally made up your mind?» Roman perked up. «Larisa, congratulations! You mentioned you always dreamed of river trips.»
It’s true—I did say that. Back when my father was still alive, we used to take the boat along the shore. I always imagined Sergey and I would take a thermos, sit side by side, and never hurry anywhere. Only, the boat my husband picked turned out to be much pricier than the one I had my eye on at first.
Last autumn, I sold the summer house that I’d inherited from my father. The land was constantly eroding, and the house needed lots of repairs. I kept the money in a separate account, not rushing to spend it. Sergey suggested we finally make my old dream come true. After countless conversations, I agreed to use those funds to pay for the boat.
«Officially, Larisa is in charge,» Sergey went on. «We put the application in her name. But I’m the one who’ll be the captain—I just have a knack for that kind of equipment.»
His words were easy, even affectionate. But I remembered how, at the dealership, he answered questions from the staff for me and interrupted whenever I tried to clarify things about passenger seating. Back then, I thought he was just excited.
«I was also planning to take it out myself,» I said. «We did talk about taking trips together.»
«Of course, sweetheart. You’ll meet us at the shore with something tasty,» Sergey chuckled. «You’re a master at that.»
Roman lowered his gaze to his plate. Elena turned to me and asked if I needed help with the dishes. I told her I could manage. It felt more natural than trying to explain to our guests why I suddenly felt embarrassed in my own home.
By the shed, Sergey’s old inflatable boat stood folded up. He’d bought it years ago and would sometimes use it for fishing. Back then, two oars and a quiet cove were enough for him. But now he talked about the new boat as if he’d owned it forever.
After the guests left, I didn’t start a conversation that night. Sergey was happy with how the celebration turned out, and I wanted to hear his answer without any audience or laughter.
The next morning, Sergey found me in the kitchen as I was putting clean plates away. He grabbed the leftover pie and asked why I was up so early.
«I need to talk about last night,» I said. «You called me someone who’s satisfied with a ladle. It hurt to hear that in front of our friends.»
«Larisa, it was just a joke. Roman got it, Elena got it—you’re the only one who chose to take offense. We had a great evening, let’s not ruin it after the fact.»
«Well, it was great for you. You also said I’d be meeting you at the shore. Tell me, who exactly are you planning to take out on the boat?»
Sergey placed the pie back on the saucer. I could see the annoyance flash across his face faster than I expected.
«First Roman. Then some colleagues from work—they’ve been wanting to go for a while. I also have a few clients who are better entertained outside the office. I’ve already promised to show the boat to a couple of people.»
«And when will it just be the two of us out on the water?»
«We’ve got the whole summer ahead of us. No need to form a queue. You’ve always said you don’t like noisy crowds. That’s why I figured you’d rather take care of the guests here. You can set up a table by the shore, hang out with Elena.»
«I told you I don’t enjoy loud company. But I never once said I wanted to serve it while everyone else relaxes. We agreed on taking walks together. I thought you remembered that.»
He pushed back his chair and sat down across from me.
«You’re taking this too seriously. I’m not stopping you from getting on the boat. It’s just my friends and some business contacts will be there. You’ll get bored. Besides, we need a hostess at the house, especially if we’re inviting people over.»
«Then why did you decide I have to pay for this boat? The money came from selling my dad’s dacha. I agreed to this for both of us.»
«Because we’ve been husband and wife for twenty-seven years,» Sergey replied. «Do I keep track of every little thing I spend on the house? I have my own income, too. But the large sum is with you right now, everyone knows that. That’s just how it worked out. We can’t divide every single purchase into yours and mine.»
He spoke confidently. I’d often heard that tone from Sergey when he was persuading one of his clients to close a deal. Some of what he said made sense: he really did buy groceries, pay the utilities, and help with repairs. But right now, this wasn’t about everyday expenses.
«If we’re not dividing anything, then why did you alone decide who gets to use the boat?» I asked.
«Because I know boats better than you do. And don’t make me look like a fool in front of Roman. I already told him we’re getting this model. I can’t back out now just because you’re upset about a dinner joke.»
I glanced at his hands. Sergey was absentmindedly crumbling the edge of his pie with his fingers, even though he hadn’t started eating. He wasn’t worried about our walks together. What really bothered him was having to explain himself to his friends.
«You could have just said that we’ll make decisions together,» I pointed out. «Instead, you keep reminding me about your promises to other people.»
«I don’t want to have to ask permission for every normal getaway. Just confirm the payment for the tenth, like we planned. Then we’ll figure out how to make it work for everyone.»
He got up and went into the yard. I lingered in the kitchen, rearranging saucers in the cupboard. That evening, on the night before the holiday, we had looked at websites together to find storage space for life jackets. I planned to buy a light water jacket for myself. But now it was clear: in Sergey’s plans, my safest place was by the stove.
I could have tried to cancel the order that very day. But I couldn’t remember exactly which form I’d signed at the dealership or whether there’d be a penalty. We had discussed the purchase a while back, and Sergey had offered to handle the paperwork ahead of time. I decided I’d go there myself tomorrow. If I waited until the tenth, I’d just be letting him assume I agreed—again.
On Monday, June 8th, I arrived at the watercraft dealership. Out front stood the same model of boat Sergey had picked. I ran my hand along its smooth side and suddenly imagined not a big day out with guests, but the quiet date with my husband on the river that never happened. That’s what truly made me sad.
Dina, an employee at the dealership, recognized me right away. Last time she’d tried to direct most of her questions to me, but Sergey had answered them instead.
«I want to review the terms of our application,» I said. «I need to understand if I can cancel the order before making any payment.»
Dina opened up the record on her computer, then placed a printout in front of me.
«You have a preliminary application for a standard model. You need to confirm the purchase and make the payment by June tenth. The final contract hasn’t been signed yet, and no payments have been made. According to the terms, you’re allowed to cancel your application right now without any penalties.»
«So, if I cancel, there won’t be any debts to the dealership?»
«Not for this application. We’ll simply free up the reserved spot. If you want to go through with the cancellation, I’ll get the paperwork ready. Since the order is under your name, you’ll need to sign it.»
I reread the part about payment. There was no mention of Sergey in the document. The dealership wasn’t promising us something that already belonged to us, and my husband hadn’t paid a single ruble. Until this morning, I thought canceling would mean fighting with the seller, paying penalties, and long explanations. Turns out, the biggest obstacle was simply my own reluctance to upset Sergey.
Dina slid the form towards me, but didn’t rush me.
«Do you need time to think? The application is still valid for two more days.»
«I’ve already made my decision,» I replied. «Please go ahead and prepare the cancellation.»
While she was typing up the document, I thought of my father. He never let me steer the boat just for show. First he taught me how to keep it straight, then let me use the oars, laughing as I steered us into the reeds. All that’s left from that old country house are the photos and the money, which I hoped to use for a few more good times with Sergey and myself. Letting go of that dream hurt.
I signed the cancellation form. Dina gave me a copy, and a few minutes later, I received an email confirming the application was withdrawn. I checked the order number and only then put my phone away in my bag.
Sergey answered my call on the third attempt.
«Why are you calling in the middle of the workday? Is something wrong?»
«I went to the dealership. The order for the boat is canceled. No payment, and no penalties either.»
For several seconds, all I could hear was the sound of his office in the background.
«You did this without me? Larisa, do you have any idea how many people already know about the boat? I am not going to cancel everything we planned just because you’re upset.»
«I didn’t plan to give up on our dream either. But yesterday you made it clear you have completely different plans. I won’t pay for those.»
«We’ll talk this evening. And tomorrow I’ll ask Roman to come over. Maybe in front of him, you’ll remember what we actually agreed on.»
«Invite him if you think you need to. But I’ve already made my decision.»
After the call, I didn’t feel any joy. We wouldn’t be getting the boat, and my disagreement with my husband wasn’t going to vanish. But at least I no longer had to sit around waiting for my account to be drained for someone else’s celebration.
On June ninth, Sergey came home with Roman. They arrived in the evening. My husband let his friend walk in first, as if welcoming an important witness to the negotiations.
«Roma knows exactly what terms we chose,» Sergey announced as soon as he took off his shoes. «He doesn’t understand why you ruined the purchase. Let’s settle this like adults: we’ll file a new application, and I’ll negotiate the same timeline.»
Roman glanced at me with a bit of embarrassment.
Sergey mentioned you two had an argument after the birthday. Larisa, I really don’t want to get involved in your relationship. But you were planning to buy a boat together, weren’t you? Maybe one slip-up isn’t a reason to make a final decision?
I suggested both of them sit down at the table. This time, I didn’t set out any food. Sergey noticed and pressed his lips together.
«Roman, do you remember what I said at the party?» I asked. «I wanted to go on the river with my husband. And he replied that my place was on the shore, next to the lunch I’d prepared. The next morning, he repeated it again, even without any guests around.»
«That’s not what I said,» Sergey interrupted. «I just suggested we split responsibilities sensibly. I have people I need to maintain business with. Larisa doesn’t enjoy those kinds of gatherings.»
«But is it her boat, or is it both of yours?» Roman asked for clarification.
«It was supposed to be ours,» I said. «I was planning to pay for it with the money from selling the country house I inherited from my father. The initial order was in my name. Sergey wanted to choose who’d be aboard and pick the times I could go. My job would be to welcome his guests.»
Roman slowly turned to look at Sergey.
«You told me the boat was almost bought. I thought you two had saved up together or already made the payment.»
«What difference does it make whose account pays?» Sergey spread his hands. «We’ve been married for twenty-seven years. She knows perfectly well how much I’ve given to this family. She just wants to show who’s in charge here.»
«I don’t need to be in charge,» I said. «But I don’t want my agreement taken for granted, especially when the whole deal has changed.»
Sergey pulled out his phone and brought up a photo of the boat.
«Look, Roma. It’s a great model, plenty of space, reliable engine. You don’t buy things like this every year. I’ve already promised a few clients a ride. Can’t we just move past this and start over with the paperwork?»
«You’re not actually trying to convince me,» I pointed out. «You want Roman to help pressure me into paying for it. But even if there were ten of you, the money still wouldn’t be yours.»
My husband put his phone down, screen facing the table.
«So you really don’t care how I look in front of people now? They’ll all say I was showing off about something I don’t own.»
«Nobody made you announce that the purchase was done. We haven’t even paid yet.»
Roman pushed his chair back and stood up, but Sergey stopped him with a gesture.
«Roman, hold on a minute. You said yourself you wanted to be the first on the river with me. Tell her I didn’t suggest anything so terrible.»
«I said I’d be happy to go for a ride if you both buy the boat,» Roman answered. «But I had no idea Larisa was paying for the whole thing and that she wouldn’t even have much space on it. I won’t ask her to renew the order.»
Sergey looked at his friend with such surprise, as if Roman had broken the rules of their meeting.
«So you also think I have to report to my wife every time I go out on the water?»
«I think if someone’s paying for the purchase, you stick to the agreement with them. And if things change, you discuss it first. I only showed up because the story you told me was completely different.»
Roman said goodbye and left. Sergey didn’t walk him to the gate. Now it was just the two of us sitting at the empty table, and for the first time, my husband had no one else to look to for a reassuring smile.
«Are you happy now?» he asked. «Now even Roman probably thinks I’m living off your money.»
«I only told him about the boat. He’s known about everything else for a long time. And I’m not going to put in a new order.»
«Then I’ll just buy it myself once I save up enough. I won’t ask you again.»
«That’s your decision. I’m not stopping you from saving up.»
Sergey slid his phone to the edge of the table. The picture of the boat appeared on the screen again. He looked at it for a few more minutes, then slipped his phone back into his pocket.
I didn’t bring up the ladle. He clearly remembered his joke. Not too long ago, he used to laugh because my agreement was always a given. Now, that agreement was gone, and not even an audience could bring it back on command.
Sergey never bought the boat that summer. He didn’t lose his job or run out of money. It was just impossible to save up enough in a few months, and he wasn’t interested in taking out a loan just for outings with friends.
On Saturdays, Sergey would grab the old inflatable boat from the shed, pump it up, and carry it to the water. Sometimes he’d fish, sometimes just row along the familiar shore. He invited his friends over a couple of times, but they usually preferred trips with their own families. No one talked about big parties on a new boat anymore.
Sergey and I kept living under the same roof. Some days he spoke to me like he used to; other days, his answers were curt. He never apologized for the party, and I didn’t pretend as if nothing had happened. We divided up household chores, and I stopped agreeing to his every request just to avoid his annoyance.
On the last Sunday of August, I went down to the river with a small travel bag. I had bought a bus ticket to the neighboring town, where there was an exhibition of local artisans I’d wanted to visit for years. Sergey was just coming back from his morning fishing trip. He dragged the boat up onto the sloping bank, pulled out the oars, and noticed my bag.
«Where are you off to?» he asked. «I thought we’d have lunch at home. I’ve worked up a huge appetite out on the water.»
«I’m going to the exhibition. I told you about the trip on Thursday. There’s leftover casserole in the fridge—heat it up if you want lunch.»
«You used to at least ask about my plans. Now it feels like we each live our own lives, as if we’re not even a family anymore.»
I stopped next to the boat. A thin strip of river grass clung to the wet side. Sergey, with a practiced motion, pulled the bow of the boat further onto the sand. He could do a lot on his own, whenever he wasn’t expecting me to do it for him.
«I asked you about your plans for the boat,» I said. «You decided my wishes didn’t matter. So now I tell you in advance where I’m going, and I expect you to listen, too.»
Sergey looked at the oars, then at my bag.
«Is the bus coming soon?»
«In twenty minutes. I need to head to the stop.»
He nodded and started securing the boat at the shore. I walked up the path. In my bag, I had my ticket, phone, and a small wallet. For the first time in a long while, no one needed me to cook lunch before I left, and I didn’t turn back to double-check if I’d left everything my husband might need.
