A little girl in brown tights, without shoes, ran along the icy village road. The ice, mixed with dirt, melted under her warm feet, and the big toe peeking through a hole in her tights turned completely black. For some reason, that toe felt the coldest to Nadya. Maybe because she could barely feel her feet at all. They were frozen, just like the rest of her body, which was only covered by her rather worn home dress.
Spring had only just begun and although it was official by the calendar, you couldn’t tell by the weather. The only thing that revealed the season was the road. During the warmer parts of the day, the snow melted, exposing the black mud. But around it, the snowdrifts still glistened white. It was evening now, and it certainly wasn’t warm. The road had frozen again, and the ice cut into Nadya’s legs through her tights.
Nadya was in third grade and knew well enough that running around the street in such a state was not normal, and she was attracting attention. But at that moment, Nadya didn’t care; she just wanted to get away from home. At home, there was her mother’s new man.
Nadya had long resigned herself to the fact that men came and went in their house. Some demanded that Nadya call them dad, while others simply ignored her. Nadya was tired of remembering new names.
This last man was different. Nadya felt a vague threat from him the moment he crossed the threshold of their run-down house, which had long needed repairs. This man didn’t start disciplining her with a belt, like her mother’s previous live-in boyfriend. Nadya was prepared for that. Instead, this man, smiling and not very tall with baldness on half of his head, entered the house like a slippery snake and started showering Nadya with gifts. He didn’t drink, unlike Nadya’s mother, and he had money.
You might think the girl would be happy, but it wasn’t so! Nadya had lived this life until she was nine and had developed a very strong intuition. She was terribly afraid of her new stepfather’s smiles and loathed taking his gifts. The gifts felt sticky, wrapped in the web of a slippery uncle. He brought alcohol into the house, lots of it, and Nadya’s mother would drink herself into oblivion. In such moments, the new stepfather would find an opportunity to «help» Nadya with her homework, talk to her. He would sit beside her and with a syrupy voice ask about her schoolwork, trying to place his hand on her shoulder or knee. Nadya felt nauseous in such moments and wanted to disappear, to dissolve. Usually, she managed to slip away, but not today.
Today her mother drank more than usual and passed out right in the kitchen, her head falling onto the table. The new man entered Nadya’s room and closed the shaky door more tightly behind him. All of this he did with such a greasy smile that it sent shivers down the girl’s spine. His smile foretold nothing good, just like his actions. Today he decided to dispense with formalities, believing he had courted the girl long enough and won her over with gifts.
«What is this dress you’re wearing, Nadyusha? It looks rather old. How about we take it off, and later I’ll buy you a new one. Would you like that?»
Horror gripped Nadya, and nausea rose to her throat. The man moved closer and extended his spider-like hand. The girl threw up right on his sport pants. The man cursed, jumped back, and his face contorted with anger.
«So, that’s how it is?» he hissed. «Wait, I’ll be right back. I’ll change and come back.»
The man left, and Nadya realized she had no time to spare. She had to run, but how? She wouldn’t make it to the front door. Her mother’s lover would definitely stop her. The only way out was the window. She ran to the wooden window frame, struggled with the rusted fasteners, climbed onto the sill, and stepped into the snowdrift that had almost leveled with the window.
And there she was running down the road, running towards the highway not knowing why. Fear drove her, and a desire to quickly disappear, while the cold pierced through her. It seemed to reach every bone, and soon Nadya would turn into one of those dirty ice clumps that so scratched her legs.
She reached the highway and walked along the shoulder. Her teeth no longer chattered like in a fever, but her skin was tightened by the frost. Her head barely understood anything, and suddenly, she wanted to sleep. Nadya didn’t hear as a truck pulled up behind her, puffing and blowing out clouds of smoke.
Mikhail went to bed early. What else to do when alone? It was boring and unusual in the apartment without his wife Olya, who had gone overnight to visit her mother. It was lonely on his own, so he decided to get some good sleep.
They were a young family, neither of them even twenty-three yet. But they had already decided to have a child. Mikhail’s wife was six months pregnant. Why not? Mikhail had a stable job with prospects for career growth and his own apartment, given to him by the state. It was hard for the young man to remember how, at fourteen, his mother lost parental rights and he was taken to an orphanage. Well, maybe it was for the better. Life in the orphanage was tough, no doubt about it, but it was even worse to stay with his eternally drunk mother and a series of stumbling drunk men. Mikhail hated most those who tried to discipline him, and all their «discipline» involved physical punishment. Mikhail felt he was very lucky. Just four years in the orphanage, and then life took a brighter turn. He got an apartment, found a job, and then met Olya.
Olya, a home girl, grew up in a complete family. Mikhail was very ashamed to introduce her to his mother. Initially lying that he was an orphan, the young man still couldn’t confess to his wife. Even when he went to his native village, he lied to Olya. But he went not because he missed his drinking mother, but because his sister was growing up in the semi-ruined, sometimes unheated house. He didn’t remember or even know his father. That wasn’t so important, since Mikhail still felt blood ties with this wild little girl and knew how hard it was for her, having gone through it all himself.
Mikhail went to bed early, looking forward to a good sleep, but it didn’t happen. A phone call from an unknown number woke him up. The elderly voice on the other end of the line he didn’t recognize immediately.
«Mishka, is that you? It’s Aunt Tonya, your mother’s neighbor. Remember, you once left your number, said to call if something happened. Well, something did. A truck drove into the village, some long-haul trucker brought your sister here. I got curious; it’s not often such big vehicles come to our village. I saw the truck driver wrapping Nadya in a jacket and carrying her to your house. But the girl was struggling, screaming that she wouldn’t return home. Your mother’s man came out, smiling, but Nadya recoiled from him as from a leper. Anyway, I took your sister to my place. I don’t know what happened, but she’s been crying and refuses to go home. And that man, he even knocked on my window, sober it seems, quite civilized. He says Nadya refused to do her homework, and he punished her. I almost believed him and didn’t want to hand Nadya over, but I can’t keep her here forever. The girl is completely frozen. I gave her some tea with raspberry, and now she’s sleeping. I remembered you then. What should we do, Mishka?»
Mikhail sat up in bed and shook his head. The elderly voice seemed to burst into the nightmare of his childhood. He couldn’t understand what the truck driver was doing there? Where did he bring his sister from? He only understood one thing—Nadya was terrified to return to their mother’s house. Something bad was happening there. Possibly, even worse than what had happened to him as a child. Nadya was a beautiful girl. His mother’s partners could only beat him, but people come in all sorts. Deep down, Mikhail had always feared something similar would happen, watching Nadya grow up.
«Don’t hand her over,» he shouted into the phone. «Do you hear me, Aunt Tonya? Don’t hand her over under any circumstances. I’ll be there soon.»
With one hand pulling on his jeans, Mikhail called a taxi with the other. He had forgotten all about getting some sleep. It wasn’t even an hour before he was in the village he had left at fourteen. The first thing he did was not go to the neighbor’s but to his mother’s house. His mother, predictably, was asleep drunk right on the kitchen floor. A fallen chair lay beside her. But her new live-in boyfriend was sober as a judge.
And how his eyes darted when he saw Mikhail! Only then did Mikhail understand that his worst fears were not unfounded. When he left the house, a fresh bruise was swelling under the bald man’s eye.
The next evening, Mikhail’s wife, Olya, was returning home. She entered the building lightly, smiling as she remembered that her mother hadn’t managed to push her pickles and jams on her this time because Olya wasn’t allowed to lift heavy things anymore. She patted her neat belly and, remembering that the elevator was still out of order, slowly started up the stairs to the fifth floor. Mikhail was home. Entering the hallway, Olya wanted to call out to him but froze, seeing the sloppy boots of a small size on the shoe rack. Was someone over? Someone with a child? Then why wasn’t there any adult shoes?
The TV was loudly playing in the living room. Olya’s husband sat on the sofa with some girl. Engrossed in popcorn, they were watching cartoons. Seeing his wife enter, the girl tensed her shoulders, and Mikhail jumped up, dropping the popcorn bucket, but not minding it. He looked very guilty.
«Olya, hello. Meet my little sister Nadya.»
The woman’s eyebrows shot up and stayed there, giving her face a stunned expression. She was silent, not knowing what to say or ask in front of the child. Mikhail understood this. Taking his wife by the elbow, he led her to the bedroom. Barely inside, he began to make excuses.
«Olya, I lied to you that I was an orphan. My mother is alive. She’s an alcoholic. She was stripped of her parental rights when I was fourteen. I was ashamed to admit this to you at the beginning, when we first met. Well, and then it just went on from there. Remember, I told you I was visiting a friend in the village. Well, I went there, but not to see my mother, but to see my little sister. She’s only nine. Mother is still drinking and bringing men home. This time she brought some slimeball, and he started acting inappropriately towards my sister. Nadya ran away. She was undressed and made it to the highway where some truck driver picked her up. I brought Nadya here. Can she stay with us for a while?»
Olya mechanically placed her hands on her belly, calming herself and the baby at the same time. Overwhelmed by the information, her head spun.
«What do you want me to say?» she exclaimed. «Mikhail, you lied to me! How could you? Okay at the beginning, but then, when you proposed? You should have told me the truth about yourself. I thought you had no relatives, and here it turns out you have a mother and a sister! And what do you mean, she will stay with us? She’s nine, she probably goes to school.»
«It’s just the start of the spring break.»
«It doesn’t matter, Mish. She’s kind of strange. Why at that age does she watch very childish cartoons? And besides… I don’t understand, I can’t imagine… It just doesn’t fit in my head.»
«Olya, please forgive me,» Mikhail touched his wife’s elbow. «I was ashamed of my past, so I lied. But Nadya is innocent. She watches cartoons because she missed out on a normal childhood. When you get to know her better, you’ll like her.»
Easy to say, you’ll like her! Maybe if Olya had met the girl under different circumstances, she would have been more receptive, but Mikhail’s prolonged deception threw her off balance. She didn’t speak to her husband for a few days, and irritation against this unkempt, wild girl built up. Nadya behaved like a wild animal. She was absolutely not accustomed to hygiene, didn’t brush her teeth, didn’t wash. And how she behaved at the table! Grabbing food with her hands or starting to drink soup over the edge of the plate was normal for the girl. Meanwhile, Nadya, scared by Olya’s silence in the first days, also withdrew. The girl only talked to her brother, and answered Olya’s questions in monosyllables, pulling her head into her shoulders.
After a few days, Olya recovered and forgave Mikhail. Then she asked her husband about his sister’s behavior.
«Why is she so twitchy? It feels like she was beaten, she’s always expecting a hit.»
«Probably so,» Mikhail said bitterly. «My mother’s partners often beat me. I think Nadya got her share. But she’s not like that with everyone. Nadya behaves normally with me. You need to make her feel at ease.»
Olya didn’t want to make anyone feel at ease. Moreover, she didn’t see the point in it. The break was coming to an end, and Olya eagerly awaited Mikhail finally taking his sister back to the village.
Yes, the girl was pitiful, but Olya tried not to think about it because she understood that she didn’t want Nadya to stay in their apartment. However, by the end of the break, Mikhail became more thoughtful, and this frightened Olya. On the penultimate day, it happened exactly what she feared. In the evening, locked in the bedroom, her husband started the conversation.
«Olya, I want Nadya to stay with us.»
«How do you imagine that?» Olga flinched. «She has a mother.»
«What kind of mother is she?» Mikhail sighed. «Getting her parental rights revoked for Nadya would be no trouble at all. And we’re a young, complete family with our own living space. We can easily take her under our care.»
«No and no again,» Olga shouted.
She tried to speak quietly so the sleeping girl in the next room wouldn’t hear her, but she couldn’t hold back.
«Mikhail, I say no. I couldn’t wait for the break to end so you could finally take this Nadya away. I understand everything, she’s your little sister, but I can’t live with her. I’m too young to care for such a big girl. She’s wild, undisciplined, unclean. She looks at me like a wolf. And besides, Mish, haven’t you forgotten that we’ll soon have our own child? It will be cramped for the four of us in this apartment.»
«But I just can’t take her back to the village,» Mikhail raised his voice too. «Mother still lives there with that slimeball. And who knows what might happen… Don’t you feel sorry for Nadya at all?»
«Sorry. Very sorry. But first and foremost, I think about our child. In short, my final word is no. The break will end and you’ll take your sister back to the village.»
«No, I won’t,» Mikhail stubbornly said. «That’s like picking up a homeless kitten from the trash, feeding it, warming it up, and then throwing it out again. Only this isn’t a kitten, this is my sister!»
«Oh, is that so?» Olga flared up. «Then I’ll leave. I won’t live with you if she stays here. Choose who’s more important to you.»
The conversation happened in bed. Olga demonstratively turned her back to her husband and pouted, showing that the discussion was over. Mikhail also lay down. He tossed and turned, sighed heavily, but eventually fell asleep, while Olga couldn’t sleep. The girl already regretted her hot-headed words. She loved Mikhail and didn’t want to leave him. At the same time, she terribly didn’t want Nadya to stay with them. A foreign person with a piercing look caused nothing but irritation in her. She didn’t know this girl, didn’t know what was going on in her head, and felt uncomfortable in her presence.
Olga lay awake, worried about the argument, and suddenly heard quiet sounds in the apartment. Nadya was walking trying to be quiet, but she wasn’t very successful at it. A door clicked, a floorboard creaked. What was this foreign girl wandering around for? What was that sound? Was she opening the front door? What did she need in the stairwell for?
Olga got up, felt for her long terrycloth robe hanging on a chair, threw it over her shoulders, and left the bedroom. Turning on the light in the hallway, the woman confirmed that neither Nadya’s jacket nor her boots were there. Where could a nine-year-old girl go in an unfamiliar city at night?
Olga felt uneasy. She was, as she was, in one robe and slippers, stepped onto the staircase. The elevator was still not repaired, and the woman hurriedly began to run down the stairs. She caught up with Nadya on the first floor.
«Wait, hold on. Where are you going?» Olga asked, panting, holding her belly. «I barely caught up with you.»
At first, the girl was disconcerted, seeing her brother’s wife, and then her face took on its usual sullen look.
«You didn’t need to catch up with me. I’m leaving.»
The girl was tense. It seemed that at any second she would dash out of the building. And what then? Chase her down the street in a robe?
«Let’s talk,» said Olga, slowly approaching the child. «I don’t understand what happened. Did you want to go to the village, to your mother? Then wait until morning, and Mikhail will take you.»
«I don’t want to go to my mother,» Nadya’s face contorted. She tried not to cry. «Mikhail said he would try to make it so I could stay with him. Then I heard your conversation. If Mikhail leaves me here, you will leave him. And I don’t want that either. Mikhail, he’s good, and it will be bad for him without you. So, I’m leaving. I’ll find an orphanage and ask them to take me in. I left now, at night, so you wouldn’t argue over me anymore. I already understood that you hate me.»
Olga looked at the girl as if seeing her for the first time. So that’s what she was like! Ready to leave just so her brother would be all right. So, Nadya was kind. And what exactly irritated Olga about her? Bad habits, unkemptness? But where could cleanliness come from if the girl grew up with a drinking mother?
«What a fool you are,» Olga wrapped herself in the terrycloth robe and came close to the girl, quietly, trying not to scare her, and hugged her shoulders.
«Why did you think I hate you? I just don’t know you. Maybe you’ll give me another chance to get to know you better? Let’s start our acquaintance all over again.»
Mikhail woke up in the morning and didn’t find his wife in bed. Fearing that she had gotten up early to leave him, the guy left the bedroom. He found Olga in the bathroom. She was teaching Nadya how to brush her teeth properly.
Mikhail kept silent. He remained silent even when his wife and sister went to the kitchen, and Olga showed Nadya how to make pancakes for breakfast. This happened in a warm atmosphere. Olga joked with the girl, but she did it very kindly. Mikhail even got confused, hearing Nadya’s laughter.
«Did something happen while I was asleep?» squinting slyly, Mikhail asked.
«While you were sleeping, a lot happened,» Olga smiled. «I asked Nadya to stay with us to live. And she agreed. Isn’t that right, Nadya?» Olga winked at the girl. «So, Mikhail, you need to put in a lot of effort so they can’t take Nadya away from us.»
A year passed.
Pushing a blue stroller ahead of her, Olga left the building. Her son slept peacefully in the stroller, wrapped up warmly. But Olga’s gaze was anxious and peering into the distance. She was looking out for Nadya, who hadn’t returned from school on time. Olga was tense and almost ran with the stroller down the driveway until she saw a girl’s figure turning the corner, waving a shoe bag. Olga breathed out, and when Nadya approached, she shouted:
«Well, what’s up? Why is your phone off? Why are you late? Do you even realize how nervous I was?»
«Olga, sorry, sorry,» the girl approached in a little hop and for a second snuggled up to Olga. «The phone died, and after classes, they held us back. I’m just a little late. Why are you worrying?»
«I always worry about you,» Olga waved her hand. «Better tell me, did you fix your ‘D’ in Russian?»
Olga wasn’t lying; she worried about Nadya. A year had passed, and she had come to love the girl as her own. Now it was hard for her to believe that Nadya once caused her irritation with her unsociability. It turns out that kindness changes everything. It was enough to look at the girl with different eyes, and she became different. She was a kind, bright child, who had become a part of Olga’s family.
