«Oksana Serhiivna, can you tell me why you actually need that bonus?»
Vadym Olehonych didn’t ask right away. First, he flipped through her application for a long time, then set it on the edge of his desk next to his glass holder of cooling tea, and only after that did he look up at her. He smiled the way people do when they know more about you than you’ve ever told them.
«Why?» Oksana was honestly puzzled for a moment. «I’ve been handling the reducer for the new conveyor for eight months. By myself, no help from anyone else. You said that once we finished the unit, you’d move me up to first category.»
«I did say that,» the bureau chief agreed easily. «But from what I’ve heard, things are going pretty well for you anyway. Your husband just started a new job, he’s earning good money. Your mother-in-law is helping you with the apartment. And we only have one bonus to give out, as you know. We have to think about who needs it most.»
Oksana stood in the middle of the office and felt her cheeks burning. She had never told Vadym Olehonych anything about Maksym’s job. Even less about her mother-in-law.
* * *
The design bureau took up the third floor of the plant administration building. Tall windows looked out over a maple-lined alley, and in October, the golden leaves were almost painful to look at, they were so bright. The heating hadn’t been turned on yet, so in the mornings everyone sat around in sweaters, warming their hands on cups and waiting for the sun to move around the building and fill the room with light.
Oksana had started here in the spring, coming from a small private firm, and couldn’t get enough of everything at first. The place smelled of paper and coffee. In the corner, under a canvas cover, stood a drafting board that Valentyna Petriivna refused to let go: «As long as I’m here, it stays.» And behind a cabinet packed with rolls of blueprints was a little nook with a kettle, where everyone gathered every day at eleven.
They talked about everything there. Whose kid didn’t want to study English, who had once again forgotten a wedding anniversary, where to find the cheapest shoes for schoolkids, and whether the rumors were true about utilities going up next year.
Iryna worked at the neighboring desk. She was pushing forty, laughed loudly, and brought bags of apples from her mother’s garden to share with everyone. On Oksana’s first week, Iryna handed her a flash drive with her own library of standard parts:
«Take it, save yourself the hassle. It took me three years to put together, this way you’re not starting from scratch.»
Things were easy with Iryna. They went to lunch together, cursed at the program when it froze during a save, and celebrated when Oksana’s unit finally passed inspection. Oksana didn’t even notice when she started telling Iryna absolutely everything.
She told her how she and Maksym had been living for a second year in a rented one-bedroom and saving every last penny. How they finally found a two-bedroom in a new building by the park, with an installment plan from the developer. How her mother-in-law, Hanna Yakivna, who always seemed a bit distant, suddenly handed them an envelope with her savings: «This is for your down payment. And I don’t want to hear another word about you two moving from place to place.» How Maksym was offered a job at a logistics company, almost doubling his pay.
She told all of this by the kettle, in the lunchroom, in the corridor. She shared it happily, because joy is something you want to share.
Larisa Mykolaivna overheard some of this conversation. She sat right by the boss’s office door, managed the bureau’s paperwork, and unlike Iryna, never laughed out loud. But she was a great listener. She would nod, offer cookies, and gently, motherly, ask:
«Oh honey, how are you managing the rent? Does your mother-in-law help? She’s such a gem, isn’t she?»
At that time, Oksana thought she was incredibly lucky to have this work team.
* * *
Valentyna Petrovna hardly took part in these chats. She had worked at the bureau for thirty-one years, always wore navy blue sweaters and necklaces made from gray and blue stones, and still checked the younger employees’ drawings with a sharp red pencil in her hand. People were a little afraid of her, because she could spot mistakes in places even computer programs missed.
At the end of September, as Oksana put on her coat and fiddled with her car keys, Valentyna Petrovna suddenly took her by the arm and led her to a window in the corridor.
The maples were glowing outside the glass. The sun was shining straight into their faces.
«Oksana, let me tell you something, and then you decide,» she started quietly. «You’re a good girl and you do good work. But don’t let the whole bureau know how much money you have or what you’re saving for.»
Oksana smiled. She thought it was a joke.
«Valentyna Petrovna, who would care? Iryna’s like a sister to me. And the rest… it’s not like we’re in a spy movie.»
«This isn’t about movies,» Valentyna Petrovna held onto her arm. «People are the same everywhere. Someone will be happy for you, but someone else will keep score.»
«Keep score of what?»
«Whatever you’ve told them yourself.»
Oksana felt hurt. Not much, but on her way to the car she felt like she’d just been scolded for doing something wrong. That evening, she even complained to Maksym: «Can you believe they told me to talk less? Like I’m some kind of gossip.»
Maksym just shrugged and said every workplace has its own Valentyna Petrovna.
* * *
Now, two weeks later, Oksana walked out of the boss’s office and passed Iryna without meeting her eyes.
She’d already replayed everything in her head, right there by the boss’s desk. Only two or three people knew about Maksym. As for her mother-in-law and her envelop, really only Iryna knew. She’d told Iryna every detail—complete with all the «can you imagine» and «I almost cried» moments.
For the next three days, Oksana ate lunch alone. When Iryna asked, «Why are you so down?» Oksana would just reply, «Oh, I didn’t sleep well.» At first, Iryna didn’t get it, but then she started feeling hurt too and stopped talking. Their desks were next to each other, but it felt like a wall had come up between them. Now Iryna put apples on the windowsill for everyone instead of on Oksana’s desk.
During these days, Larisa Mykolaivna was especially attentive.
«You look pale,» she sighed, sliding a cup toward Oksana. «Don’t worry so much about that category. You’re doing fine—your husband earns well, your mother-in-law helps, you really have nothing to complain about.»
Oksana would just nod. The words of the boss and Larisa overlapped in her mind like two onion skins on a light table. But back then, she didn’t notice it yet.
* * *
On Friday, a notice appeared on the board by the boss’s door: Larisa Mykolaivna had been promoted to the first category.
In the evening, the office emptied out quickly as usual before the weekend. Oksana stayed behind, wanting to finish up her specification instead of leaving it for Monday. Valentyna Petrovna wasn’t in a rush either, sharpening her pencils over an open newspaper, the shavings falling into a neat pile.
«It’s not Iryna,» she said without looking up.
Oksana froze, her hand still on the mouse.
«What?»
«I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at her all week. But it’s not her. On Monday, I brought Vadym the inspection report, and his door was ajar. Larysa was in there with a folder, explaining sympathetically that now’s not the time for Oksanochka to think about her career. She said they’ve got an apartment, her husband has a good job, and her mother-in-law helps out with money. Word for word, just like you told her over tea.»
«But… she’s always cared about me.»
«She has,» Valentyna Petrovna agreed. «But she cares even more about herself. She’s been waiting for that category for two years. And then you came here from another company and, in just eight months, completed the project where two others had stumbled before you.»
She fell silent, folded the newspaper with the pencil shavings into quarters.
«And do you know who went to see Vadym after her? Iryna. She told him you’re the strongest engineer in the office and that without you the reducer would still be languishing in drafts. I heard that too. Seems like no one’s bothered to fix that door.»
Oksana sat down, suddenly weak in the knees. She remembered Iryna’s face on Wednesday, when she’d asked, «Why the long face?» and Oksana had brushed her off.
«I haven’t said a kind word to her in three days…»
«Well, tell her on Monday,» Valentyna Petrovna said as she stood up and grabbed her bag. At the door, she turned back. «And one more thing, dear, for life: Never confuse friendly conversation with true friendship. A colleague can be a wonderful person, but you don’t hand out the keys to your home to everyone who smiles nicely at you.»
* * *
On Monday, Oksana came in twenty minutes early. She set a jar of cherry jam—cooked by Hanna Yakivna back in the summer—on Iryna’s desk, and waited.
Iryna walked in, saw the jar, and saw Oksana. She was silent for a long time.
«Is this an apology?»
«It’s an apology,» Oksana said. «And an explanation, if you’re willing to listen. But not here. Let’s talk outside during lunch—the maples haven’t shed their leaves yet.»
They sat together on a bench near the main gate. Oksana told it all: about the chat with the boss, her suspicions, and the partially open door. Iryna listened quietly, turning an apple in her hands. Then she let out a short laugh—bitter, but it was her own.
«You really cooked up a story, my friend. Ten years ago, I got caught the exact same way. Another very sympathetic lady tripped me up here while I was confiding about my little one. Only, no one took me aside for a talk back then.»
«Then why didn’t you warn me?»
«Would you have listened?» Iryna offered her the apple. «You didn’t even listen to Valentyna Petrovna.»
* * *
Oksana finally got her promotion that spring, when another position opened up. Vadym Olehovych personally came into the office, spent a long time praising the reducer, and seemed a bit embarrassed.
And in the corner behind the cabinet with the blueprints, the kettle would still start boiling every day at eleven. Larysa Mykolaivna would slide over some cookies and ask:
«So, how’s your apartment, sunshine? Have you moved in yet?»
«Take it slow,» Oksana smiled. «Did you see how foggy it was this morning? I was driving so slowly that a grandma with a shopping cart actually passed me.»
She chatted about the weather. Talked about the early morning frost, how they finally turned on the heating, the price of potatoes at the market. Anything really, except for the things that truly mattered to her.
Only two people at the office knew about the housewarming. Iryna helped her hang the curtains. Valentyna Petrivna brought over a white geranium plant, walked through both rooms, and said the apartment would be a happy one because the windows face east and the sun always shines here in the morning.
