«I can’t manage anything!» In despair, I just wanted to cry helplessly.
«You never manage to finish anything! Others somehow cope!» my husband reproached me irritably, instead of offering even moral support.
«Vitya, I’m alone. I have only two hands, not ten. I need to take care of Kostya, who is on me twenty-four seven, manage the housework, and go grocery shopping. You don’t help at all!»
«Washing dishes and babysitting is not a man’s job. I am a man, I work. You live, by the way, because I work hard like the last draught horse!»
I picked up my son and left the kitchen where this conversation took place. Before Kostya was born, my husband and I lived soul to soul, and there were almost no arguments between us. But then the baby arrived, whom we both wanted and waited for, and all the old scripts flew out the window. A small child is always a challenge. Those who think that children mean only cooing at their little feet and quiet games with blocks will quickly be disillusioned. Kostya was ten months old. He was already trying to walk independently, growing his third pair of teeth. Each tooth was a struggle. The baby became restless, had fever at night, constantly cried, and resolutely did not want to sleep. I already looked like a ghost – with dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep and fatigue.
My mom and dad felt sorry for me, but they lived far away. After the wedding, I moved to my husband’s apartment, and I couldn’t decide to rent out my pre-marital one, inherited from my grandmother. I was sorry to let strangers into the home I remembered from childhood. Grandma Valya loved me very much, spoiled me, lived to a ripe old age. Sadly, she didn’t live to see my marriage or the birth of her great-grandson, passing away quietly one autumn night, disturbing no one. We mourned Grandma for a long time – she had raised all of us, always had enough love and wise, kind words for everyone.
My husband made no comment about my decision regarding Grandma’s apartment. He earned enough; we weren’t struggling, even when I went on maternity leave. The only problem now was a lack of time for rest. Kostya was a difficult boy, very attached to me. Some children can play independently, but my son demanded my presence in everything, which was incredibly exhausting. Fatigue accumulated, threatening to break me. I couldn’t manage to wash the dishes or the floor, toys and baby things were scattered everywhere, and there was so much laundry that it threatened to take over the entire bathroom, spilling out of the huge laundry basket. This irritated my husband. Vitya repeatedly scolded me for the mess, even though he never got up at night to Kostya. Sometimes I slept barely an hour all night, and not consecutively. Yes, it’s a phase, yes, it will pass, yes, I understood all that. But a woman’s resources are not infinite, and help was nowhere to be expected. Mom couldn’t come – she was caring for my father, whose health had recently worsened.
One day, my mother-in-law, Diana Ivanovna, came to visit. She was a strong-willed, complex woman, but overall, our relationship with her was not bad. She didn’t interfere in our family, reasoning that if her son was happy, it was not her business how his home was managed or what happened there. I sincerely respected Diana Ivanovna for this stance. After all, there are so many stories where a mother-in-law turns against her daughter-in-law and ruins the children’s lives. My case was rather good.
My husband wasn’t home; he was working, and Diana Ivanovna stopped by with treats for her grandson for a cup of tea. She lived in a village not far from the city. Just an hour by bus, which ran every forty minutes, so getting there was no problem. Except in winter, when it sometimes snowed heavily, but that was more the exception than the rule. The mother-in-law was not a frequent guest in our home. When Kostya was born, she came only after three months, not wanting to disturb me and the baby.
Diana Ivanovna walked into the kitchen, glanced sharply at the mountain of unwashed dishes, the cooled porridge in a bowl on the table, and the soft teddy bears scattered on the floor.
«You’re swamped, I see,» she stated affirmatively, not as a question.
I turned on the gas under the kettle, sat down opposite my mother-in-law with my son in my arms.
«That’s an understatement, Diana Ivanovna. I’m completely worn out. Kostik lives on me, won’t let go for a minute, and hardly sleeps.»
«Come here, my sweet, to grandma!» the mother-in-law stretched out her arms, and the boy reached out to her. «Your mom is as green as parsley. What’s got you so restless, huh?»
The mother-in-law cooed with the baby, and I poured us stronger tea.
«With sugar?»
«Yes, my dear, two spoons,» replied Diana Ivanovna, unhooking a chain with a cross and putting it away because the grandson was already aiming to pull and tug at the decoration.
«Have some cookies, I baked them yesterday,» I put a plate of oatmeal cookies sprinkled with powdered sugar on the table.
«Let’s talk, Lisa,» the mother-in-law took a cookie, bit off a small piece, and gave the rest to her grandson. «You’ve gotten so thin, the house is a mess… Don’t be offended, I’m not saying it out of malice, but from the heart. I’m a mother myself, I remember what it’s like when the baby is so small – no time to even wash or eat peacefully. I offer to help you, if you agree. Extra hands for a child are always welcome, so I’ll be on call. Even a couple of hours a day will be a support for you. You’ll clean up, go to the store, cook. My son complains that you don’t always manage to make dinner.»
I sighed heavily – it means Vitya told his mother that I was a bad wife.
«I’d be grateful. But it takes you so long to get to the city. Let’s do this. My grandmother’s apartment is empty; I haven’t rented it out. It’s in the neighboring courtyard, so you won’t have to walk far, just a couple of minutes. While Kostya is still very small, I really need the help like air.»
«Well, it looks like we’ve decided then. It’s convenient since it’s already October – I’ve finished my gardening work, so I’m free. I’ll be useful for my grandson. Otherwise, I’d just be clearing snow all winter, bored at home.»
We talked more with the mother-in-law, and then parted, mutually satisfied with the arrangements. Diana Ivanovna moved into Grandma’s apartment the next day, quickly settled in, cleaned up a bit – dusted, washed the windows. By Tuesday, she came to sit with Kostya. In four hours, I managed a lot – washed the floors, gathered all the toys, prepared lunch and dinner, started the laundry.
Diana Ivanovna sat with the baby in the nursery, quietly cooing with the grandson. The next day, she even took him to her place, and I, with a clear conscience, slept two and a half hours. How little a person needs for happiness! It seemed to me that I truly rested in silence, got up energized and rested, and took up household chores with new strength. The mother-in-law became my life-saver. The New Year passed, everything went its course. I felt less tired than before. I still didn’t get enough sleep, but a few hours a day without my son were a real gift from fate. I managed to do household chores, wash, eat calmly, cook for my husband. Vitya was also pleased with this arrangement, and we argued less.
Kostya willingly spent time with his grandmother, did not fuss. The mother-in-law played patty-cake with him, drew with finger paints, assembled the simplest pyramids with rings by colors. The winter turned out to be very snowy, and I was once again glad that Diana Ivanovna lived in Grandma’s apartment, just a stone’s throw away. She wouldn’t have traveled with her grandson from the village through such heavy snowstorms.
One Friday evening, my mother-in-law, Kostya, and I were at home, waiting for our dad. Vitya was a bit delayed, which he had warned about in advance. He came with bags full of groceries, which I had asked him to buy from the list. Kostya immediately grabbed a small box of juice and a cheese snack, again ran to the nursery to Grandma.
«Sit down, the borscht is fresh, just right from the cold,» I told my husband.
«My mom has been living in your apartment for three months, re-register the property to her,» my husband demanded.
«Why should I re-register my grandmother’s inherited apartment to her?»
«She’s been your free nanny because she works! You’re a delicate woman, you find it hard to handle the little one,» my husband explained.
At that moment, Diana Ivanovna entered the kitchen.
«Vitya is right, I’ve been coming to your place every day for three months, like going to work.»
«But you offered to help, he’s your grandson.»
«And what, do you think I have nothing else to do but babysit? I raised my own, and I don’t want to sit with yours for free!» Diana Ivanovna said.
«I will not re-register anything to anyone, don’t even hope for it!» I retorted.
«You’ll re-register it nicely, otherwise you’ll be left alone again!» Vitya raised his voice at me.
I frowned, took my son from my mother-in-law’s arms.
«We’re going for a walk with Kostya.»
No one thought to stop me. I quickly gathered the essentials – mine and my son’s, left the house with the baby, and walked quickly to Grandma’s apartment. While walking, adjusting to Kostya’s uncertain steps, I called a locksmith. The specialist arrived quickly, did not charge much. I put my mother-in-law’s belongings in the hallway.
Returning, she tried to knock, shouted, entertaining the neighbors with a free circus show. I didn’t care. I didn’t open the door. She yelled that she would take my child away, that I was an incompetent mother, and much more in the same vein.
In the morning, along with the baby, I went to file for divorce. We lived in Grandma’s apartment for several weeks, and when I received the documents confirming my freedom, I bought tickets and went to my parents. Kostya and I traveled by train, snowy forests and fields flashing by the window. A blizzardy February reigned everywhere, decorating the land with fluffy snowdrifts. My son enjoyed looking out the window, slept at night, ate well. The two-day journey went by quickly. My father, mother, and brother met us at the station, hugged us tightly.
The parental home was just as before. Old, with creaky floorboards, a large porch, a huge, snow-covered plot. Kostya and I ate my mom’s signature meat and sauerkraut pies. The house smelled of comfort, tranquility, happiness. Dad rocked his grandson on his knee.
«What a big little rascal you’ve become! In photos, you seem tiny, but sitting on my knees, such a chunk!» Dad laughed and tickled the baby.
I lived with my parents for several months. My ex-husband did not write or call. He was not interested in how his son or I were doing. This actually pleased me more. After everything that had happened, I didn’t want to have anything more to do with Viktor. When I told my parents about the reason for our separation, they unequivocally supported me. They helped with Kostya, and the little one quickly got used to his grandfather, grandmother, and uncle.
Eventually, we lived through spring and summer with my parents. I helped with the garden, and Grandma and Grandpa happily babysat the grandson. I returned to the city only in the fall, got a job at a kindergarten as a nanny so that Kostya could be taken into daycare. The pay was small, but my son was under supervision, did not miss me, and did not fuss. Now he slept at night, and I could rest and sleep too. We managed everything in the end. Love for Kostya gave me the strength to live, move forward, not give up. A child really becomes a huge motivator in this world. For his smile, you want to wake up in the morning, feeling that you can move mountains just to make him happy.
I never picked up the remnants of my ex-husband’s belongings. Kostya and I just bought what we needed and lived peacefully in Grandma’s apartment. It’s a pity she never saw her great-grandson! I’m sure she would have loved Kostya just as much as all of us. I often remembered Grandma Valya, told my son about her. He spoke better and better, and it was very interesting to chat with him. In that little curly head with huge chocolate eyes, thousands of questions swirled, to which I sometimes lost track of how to answer. And my son never asked where his father was. It’s as if he had forgotten Vitya, as if he had never been in our lives. Probably, when Kostya grows up, he will still ask me this question, and I will honestly tell him why I left his father. But for now, we were happy together. We constantly crafted, cooked, my son already helped me clean and no longer scattered toys all over the house. My little helper was already big enough to protect me and be my light and shield in this huge, amazing world.
