I was confident that our married life would be like a fairy tale—that we would have everything in abundance, as Danil was such a generous and caring man. That’s what initially drew me to him—flowers for no reason, beautiful gestures. He was not stingy; he was casual with money. My friends sometimes talked about the stinginess of their fiances and husbands, and I was happily thinking that my Danil was not like that—he never skimped on money for me.
Hello, dear readers! I want to tell you an interesting story told to me by my client. She came to me a few months ago to work through a situation that occurred in her family. The client needed a professional’s help, and we worked together to understand what had happened.
We met two years ago. Danil found me on the internet by chance, liking my new photos. At that time, my friend and I had just gone to the forest, and the autumn nature inspired us to have a beautiful photo session. I was in a new dress and a new vest with beautiful embroidery. The photos indeed turned out fabulous. The magical golden foliage, picturesque stumps, mushrooms.
Danil then wrote to me in private messages, and somehow I didn’t notice how I was getting carried away talking to him. We texted for a couple of days, and then he invited me to a cafe. I gladly agreed and was not disappointed when we met. Danil was charming, knew how to make timely jokes, and laughed willingly. He came to the date with a large bouquet of white chrysanthemums—such a grand gesture in our times! I was flattered and charmed. Of course, Danil also paid for the coffee and pastries. We started dating, and I felt like a spoiled, delicate girl by his side.
Danil worked in a household appliance parts store. He didn’t earn too much but didn’t look for anything else, as that money was enough for him alone. He spent almost all of it on me, while he rented an apartment from a friend who asked Danil for the bare minimum—just utility payments. My boyfriend dressed simply, practically, inexpensively, but everything suited him. My friends immediately called my boyfriend a real looker, and I fully agreed with them.
After six months, Danil asked me to marry him. He laid out a question mark with roses in the snow, and when I came out, like in an American movie, he got down on one knee and proposed. It was very romantic— all the neighbors stuck their faces to the windows to watch the free show. I admit, it was very flattering. I agreed.
By that time, I already had my own apartment. A few years ago, my grandmother passed away, and my parents transferred her one-room apartment to me. My parents lived in a private house in the city, which my father built with his own hands. I was their only daughter, and when I said I was getting married, my parents immediately took care of my housing situation.
Danil and I moved to my place, quickly did some minimal cosmetic repairs, and our happy married life began. I hoped that my husband would become a bit more frugal when he married me. After all, it’s one thing to hang out in cafes and meet three times a week, but quite another to live together, manage a household, buy groceries, and cleaning products.
I worked in a factory HR department. A calm good job for women, with a stable salary. Not too high, but I was quite satisfied. In addition, I earned extra money by writing student papers. A couple of years ago, I specifically bought courses on how to write essays, theses, etc., and confidently took on this new job. It turned out not to be so scary and difficult. Within six months, I had gotten so skilled that I could do a simple course paper in a day. This brought in quite impressive earnings and was a great bonus to my monthly salary.
Unfortunately, my husband did not become more rational with money in marriage. He could easily go to the store and buy three packs of royal shrimp, which cost as much as an airplane wheel, although there was still a week and a half until payday. He did not think about what to buy even bread and buckwheat tomorrow, nor did he think about how to pay for the commute to work.
— Dan, what are you going to use to get to work tomorrow? Reindeer? We don’t have a penny.
— Oh, Anyut, just don’t start about money, okay? I’ll figure something out tomorrow. Didn’t they just have to send you some money for that paper?
— The client warned me that the payment for the second half would be delayed. So only in three days.
— Well, we’ll survive somehow. Here, my dear, enjoy the shrimp in batter. Tasty, right?
The shrimp did not go down well with me out of resentment. I wanted to hit my husband with a pillow and shake him to start thinking with his head and not give in to impulses. I was scared to live one day at a time, relying on some unclear miracles that might not happen.
Knowing my husband’s character, I always had a financial safety cushion that Danil did not know about. I opened a separate account on a card, which I hid, and threw money into it for such cases when my husband spent everything and we didn’t even have money for a fare.
Danil, of course, also did not know how to save. So soon I started another piggy bank—thanks to it, I could buy something big, like winter shoes, a jacket, spend on the dentist, and other necessary household things. Attempts to call my husband to frugality led to nothing. He was a big spender, spent money as if he had an unlimited amount.
At some point, Danil worked only to extinguish accumulated debts. He easily, without thinking about the consequences, took loans from the bank—for a new cool phone, for a new very expensive leather jacket, for a new mattress, because the old one seemed uncomfortable to him. I did not know what to do, how to stop this life in debt, it weighed on me. It seemed we were caught in a vicious circle. In essence, I paid for everything now—utilities, groceries, all household trifles were on me. My husband did not think this was unusual; he was quite happy with it. He was firmly convinced that tomorrow a magician in a blue helicopter would suddenly fly in and dump millions for free. That confidence of Danil’s was dragging our family to financial ruin.
At the same time, Danil also loved to impress my parents, friends, and acquaintances. For example, show up at my mother’s place with a huge bouquet of bright red roses, spending the last money from his already small salary, which was almost all eaten up by interest on debts. My mother melted and admired the generosity of her son-in-law, but I wanted to cry out from his staged beautiful gestures. They cost our family too dearly.
We decided to wait with children at the very beginning of our life together, and I now realized that it was the right decision. Having a child from him would be, to put it mildly, unwise and simply dangerous until my husband wised up. We argued more and more often, and I sadly thought that I was decisively unhappy with such irresponsible relationships.
In the last couple of weeks, I also felt very unwell. Waves of weakness and nausea hit sharply, I had no appetite at all. I constantly wanted lightly salted cucumbers, which were quite problematic in November. Tired of constant poor health, I complained to a friend. Nastya had been married for five years, and during that time had become the mother of three wonderful boys. Hearing about my ailments, my friend authoritatively stated that I needed to run and buy a pregnancy test. I tried to joke it off—well, I’m just overtired, and it’s autumn blues. But the mother of three insisted that it was worth taking the test. In the end, I listened to her and bought one.
I sat on the bathroom floor, fingers folded in an intuitive gesture asking the higher powers, and felt tears fill my eyes as a bright pink line began to appear on the white background. A child! Just not now!
But nothing could be changed. I put my hand on my lower abdomen, realizing that I was not alone, and everything would soon change by one hundred eighty degrees.
I came out of the bathroom, holding the test in my trembling hand. Danil was drinking tea in the kitchen, looked up at me anxiously:
— Well?
I silently handed him the test strip, and my husband immediately beamed.
— Change is near.
— Anya, this is wonderful!
— Wonderful, if you solve the debt issue. You understand that a child doesn’t grow like a burdock by the fence. It needs a crib, a stroller, clothes!
— My sweet kitty, I’ll solve everything! Don’t even worry! By the time our little one is born, there won’t be a single debt, I’ll buy everything the child needs, I swear!
I sighed heavily, convincing myself to believe my husband one last time.
Days flowed by days, the nausea soon disappeared, and my belly gradually began to round. I eagerly awaited the first kick of my baby. I felt it at night. I couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning, and suddenly, inside, as if a tiny fish flicked its tail. There could be no doubt—it was my child that kicked me.
— Well, hello, little person! — I whispered, placing my hand on my stomach.
Inside me, there was another gentle nudge. I fell asleep happy.
I continued to work, and somehow unnoticed my pregnancy reached the sixth month. Even under the widest dress, my delicate status was noticeable. At work, everyone already knew that I would soon go on maternity leave, they reluctantly let me go, but promised that they would definitely wait for me to come back. From that promise of his to solve the debt problems and buy everything for the little one, Danil did absolutely nothing. This seriously began to worry me. It only seems that nine months is a long time. With our modern life schedule, this time flies with dizzying speed.
Tired of worrying and being anxious, I decided to set all doubts aside and talk to my husband.
— Danil, I’m at six months, I’ll soon be leaving work. Have you repaid anything to the bank? When will we buy things for the baby?
— Dear, don’t go on maternity leave, you need to help me pay off the debts — my husband declared.
I was stunned by such a statement.
— Are you going to order me to give birth in the office? Do you even think about what you’re saying? — I exploded.
— What’s the big deal? You feel great, you can work.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath. This was the point of no return, the very Rubicon after which there was no way back.
— Pack your things immediately and get out of my house! Don’t let your foot be here! — I yelled.
My expression was apparently such that Danil even stepped back and hurried to pack his things in a suitcase. He was blown away like the wind, and I sat on the couch and cried bitterly. How could I think that my husband would change? How could I rely on such an irresponsible man?
Mom, sensing that I was in trouble, called me an hour later. I had managed to breathe and calm down a bit by then. Upon learning what had happened, mom immediately came to me.
— Anya, don’t cry! You won’t be lost. As long as we, your parents, are alive and able, we will never leave you, daughter!
— I know, mommy, thank you!
Mom really didn’t just say that for show. My parents were as reliable as a rock. I went on maternity leave at the prescribed time, seven months. My payments were small, but I did not despair—no one forbade me to write student papers. And there was a constant flow of them, just take them and don’t be lazy to do them. It was somewhat hard in my condition to sit at the computer for a long time, but I bought myself a laptop, lots of comfortable pillows of different sizes, and organized a special semi-reclining workplace for myself. Thus, by the time Svetochka was born, I even managed to save some money.
Grandma and grandpa bought a stroller and a crib, I managed the rest of the baby’s trousseau myself. Danil disappeared from the radar, as if he had never been. I was even glad about that—such a husband and father were not needed for us and our daughter. Svetа was born exactly on the date indicated on the card. Healthy, weighing three kilograms fifty grams. My priceless treasure with blue eyes and transparent thin silky fingers, which I loved to kiss.
With the birth of my daughter, a tremendous force awakened in me, with which I could move mountains. I did not feel loneliness. I enjoyed motherhood, tried to sleep more, did student papers while the baby slept. And in the end, I lived in need of nothing. Mom and dad were always ready to help if I asked for anything. Their support also gave me confidence in myself and protection. But even if they had not been there, I would have managed everything myself. I had a reason. And now this little sweet reason slept in her crib, tucking her fist under her chubby cheek with a dimple.
