Yes, Ania, now you are our breadwinner,» Mom looked at me very expressively. Inside, everything snapped. «Well, what did you expect? Your father and I raised you, now it’s your turn to pay us back.»
«Mom, what debt?» I tried to keep a serious expression on my face, but her melodramatic speech sounded funny.
«Well, we fed you, clothed you, gave you an education…»
«I was on a scholarship! Maybe you’ll include diapers and baby crawlers in the ‘debt’ as well?» A wave of indignation was beginning to wash over me.
«I might as well include them! After all, we need something to live on!»
«Then go and work!»
This option seemed the most obvious to me. But at the word «work,» Mom’s eyes widened like an owl’s, her lips trembled, and tears welled up in her eyes.
«Me? Work? What are you talking about?! I dedicated my whole life to you! And I believe I am not obligated to look for a job at 40.»
I twitched: Mom turned 45 last year. In her whole life, she had never worked a day: married at 18, soon my brother was born, a year later – me. Dad supported the whole family. Our upbringing was handled by a nanny and grandmothers, while Mom lived for her pleasure: salons, shopping, vacations abroad, fitness, yoga, coaches – she was engaged in «self-development.»
Then Dad’s business went bankrupt, and he had to find a job. The management used Dad as an example to all, but when he got sick, they immediately tossed him overboard like ballast. His new job paid very little, but Dad still had time for rest. I had finished my studies, found a great job, and was living independently: both grandmothers had passed away early, leaving their apartments to Max and me. My brother had his third child, sold Grandma’s apartment, bought a bigger one, and was now paying off the mortgage. Things were not going well with his job.
«Mom, maybe it’s time to cut expenses?» I glared at the manicurist: she came to her house once a week. Yes, my mother placed self-care above everything else!
«What expenses? I don’t spend on anything extra!»
«How can you say you don’t spend? You bought two new dresses yesterday, today – the manicurist, tomorrow – the massage therapist, the day after tomorrow – the cosmetologist. They charge double for home visits.»
I was ready to present calculations to make Mother understand: the main expenses in the family were on her conscience. But she widened her eyes again and responded indignantly.
«Don’t talk nonsense. I’m a woman, and I must look beautiful. Otherwise, your father would be displeased when he comes home.»
«And what about me? Have you thought about me?» – long-standing resentment towards my mother began to rise from within and was about to erupt like lava from a volcano. – There’s hardly any money left in Dad’s accounts, and you continue to live luxuriously. I’m also a woman. I don’t want to work myself to the bone, supporting your whims. I want to take care of myself!»
Mom gave me her special «royal» look, and I involuntarily shivered. She had a way of looking that made you feel insignificant. Meanwhile, I was indeed working to the bone. I took on two challenging projects – each required being on call 24 hours a day. Plus, freelance translation work, plus tutoring.
«Daughter, let’s not argue with me. While Dad hasn’t found a normal job, you’re responsible for the finances in our family. So either cut your expenses or look for a side job.»
«No, Mom,» I said as firmly as possible. – I don’t have expense items that I could cut for your benefit.
«How can you not? What about your trips every six months? Lunches in cafes? Finally, forget about taxis. And you don’t need a new down jacket and boots – walk in the old ones.»
«Well, you know, Mom,» I was barely holding back from shouting. Instead, I quickly dressed and left my parents’ house. A walk in the park should restore my peace of mind.
Old grievances continued to simmer. If in childhood Mom dressed me like a doll, then in adolescence I looked like a scarecrow. Mother bought clothes for me herself. And as if deliberately – not my size. Either too big or too small.
«Ugh, how you’ve put on weight,» she would say disdainfully if the clothes were too small. If too large – another tune played. – «It’s okay, it will be for growth.»
«Mom, can I choose my own clothes?» – I was about to go to camp, and Mother promised to buy a couple of new dresses, shorts, t-shirts, and jeans.
«I know what you’ll choose. Utter lack of taste. Here, take these, good clothes, try them on.»
In the bag were clearly worn clothes from someone else. Almost all – huge, some were in such a state that it would be shameful to work in the garden in them.
«I’m not going in this,» I burst into tears from the offense for the first time.
«Then you won’t go at all,» Mom shrugged.
You know, there was money in the family. Mother did not deny herself anything, but as soon as it concerned me, the mode of strict economy kicked in. Later, many years later, I realized: Mother was a typical narcissist. And in me, she saw not a daughter, but a rival and competitor. But Dad didn’t see this: he was busy with business, constant trips, meetings. But when he was home, I basked in his tenderness.
«Daughter, you are so smart, and beautiful! My pride!» – Dad constantly told me these words.
«Don’t exaggerate,» Mom would wrinkle her nose. – «She has three B’s this quarter.»
«But the rest are A’s!» – Dad would look at me proudly. – «Maxim has three B’s too, but the rest are C’s. Why don’t you scold him for that?»
«He’s a man, and a man doesn’t need grades on a diploma,» Mom countered. Max was always her favorite.
My brother got into a university on a scholarship, but after the third semester, he dropped out. Spent six months at home, developed a plan on how to become an entrepreneur. Then entered another institute on a paid basis. Studied for a year – and also dropped out. No job, no education. Another year he was engaged in something unclear: he said he was about to launch a project, tried to «rise» on cryptocurrency, but his mental capacity was so-so.
«Ania, I think you owe it to support your brother,» Mother declared on September 1.
«With what?» – I was studying in the fourth year and did not expect her to start such a conversation.
«Your brother enrolled in a foreign language institute, and you will help him.»
«How – will I rent out my brains?» – I laughed.
«Don’t be insolent! You know, Maxim got married, they will soon have a child with Lenochka, and he has no time for studies.»
«Then let him not study, but work,» this option seemed the most obvious to me.
«Egoist! You do papers and coursework for classmates for money! Can’t you help your own brother?»
«Will he pay the same as the classmates?» – I retorted.
«How mercenary. You would sell the family for profit,» Mom pursed her lips and turned to the manicurist, who was just filing her nails. – «That’s how you raise a child, and then they remember no good.»
In general, you already understood that Maxim got his diploma only thanks to me. I hoped, believed that Mother would eventually appreciate my efforts and love me as much as my brother. Then I still lived with my parents. Max came to visit, and Mother forgot about everything in the world – even the manicurist!
«Son, would you like some coffee or tea?»
«Make it coffee,» Maxim usually said lazily and indifferently.
«And here are your favorite candies, with liqueur,» Mother tried to please her son. She didn’t know at all what I liked.
My brother looked at these dances with indulgence. He allowed Mother to pamper her favorite son. He treated me like a servant. Even when he lived with us, I ironed his shirts, cooked breakfasts for the whole family. Now Max believed that I was supposed to study instead of him.
And now, when Dad was out of work, Mom and brother settled on me. It never occurred to them to solve their problems independently. After I suggested that Mom get a job and left, she called my brother. I don’t know what they talked about. Only an hour later, Maxim called me back in the same insinuating voice as Mother’s, pressuring me.
«Ania, have a conscience! We are one family!»
«Well, yes, Max, we are one family, I agree.»
«You understand that now, while Dad doesn’t find a normal job, there’s no other way. The family really needs help.»
And here’s where I let loose. I had so many complaints against my brother that I could no longer hold them back.
«Oh, yes, Max! I am a family member, and I really need help! I’ve been slaving away for you and Mom alongside Dad for the last three years, strained myself. I urgently need a resort. Will you pay?»
«Hey, sis, what resorts? Did you get your banks mixed up? Why should I pay for your whims?» Max replied indignantly.
«That’s how you talk? Well then, let’s count! Who wrote your tests, coursework, and thesis in university?»
«But you know, I had one son born, then another.»
Max spoke in surprise, as if you couldn’t understand obvious things.
«Great that you can make children independently. And what am I to do with it? I didn’t force you to marry and have offspring during your studies.»
«But we are a family! And then – it just happened…»
«No, it doesn’t matter. You were supposed to study on your own! That’s your area of responsibility!»
«Ugh, you’re so stuffy!»
Judging by the tone, Max was going to end the conversation. But I didn’t let him hang up.
«Further. Max, why have I been paying your mortgage since Dad was fired?»
«But you know: I have difficulties with work, a wife, three kids…»
«Notice: you have a wife and three kids, not me. Why should I give your family money? Am I a charity?»
«But Dad gave every month!..»
«I’m not Dad. And I’m not obligated to support two adults and their three kids.»
Max was silent for 10 seconds. Then in a full tragic voice, he said.
«Well, sister, I didn’t expect betrayal from you.»
«What kind of betrayal?» – honestly, these words surprised me.
«You’re abandoning the family in difficult times.»
I had to remind my brother that not only did I study instead of him, but I also bought strollers, cribs, winter jumpsuits, various accessories for Lenka, so she would have less hassle when his children were born. Anyone who’s been to a children’s store can imagine how much these «gifts» for my nephews cost me.
«Brother, I have a feeling that your family is constantly going through tough times.»
«Give me time, I’ll get on my feet!»
«When?! You’ll turn thirty in a year! And nothing to your name, except a mortgage and three kids!»
«But I’m needed by them, they are my family, my people, unlike you, betrayer!»
«Max, when adults start a family, they rely on themselves, not on a father and not on a sister. Need money? Change jobs or find a side job!»
«Of course, it’s easy for you to say!»
«Me?! Max, I’m an unprofitable option in the eyes of an employer, as I can go on maternity leave,» I laughed, remembering how three places had refused me with just such wording. – «You definitely won’t go on maternity leave: you’ve fulfilled and overfulfilled your plan!»
«How dare you joke about children! Although… everything is clear with you… betrayer!»
Well, I am a betrayer in the eyes of my own brother. And all because I refuse to continue paying his mortgage and supporting Mother.
Max hung up, and I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh. It’s funny when your own people see you as a source of wealth, a wallet. And it’s tearfully offensive: after all, I’m the youngest…
The phone rang again. Again – Mother.
«Ania, I just don’t understand what’s happening with you?» – with a break in her voice and theatrical pauses, Mother spoke.
«What’s happening?»
«Just can’t comprehend how easily you’re giving up on me, on your brother, on your nephews…»
«I’m not giving up, you’re confused,» – honestly, such a statement caused me confusion.
«How are you not giving up? You suggested I find a job. You even advised Maxim to look for a side job, even though he has kids! …»
«That’s right. Max works – Lena takes care of the kids. But they can swap places. And it would be good for you to find out how money is earned.»
«Bitch!» – for the first time in many years (after I accidentally bumped into Mother, and she spilled wine on her pristine dress), Mother switched from a noble-royal voice to a market-screeching one.
This time, I ended the conversation. And I put both – brother’s and mother’s – numbers on silent. I urgently need to talk to Dad: he has always treated me with some reverence. And at this minute, the smartphone screen lit up with an incoming call: «Daddy.»
«Hello, daughter.»
«Dad, I was just thinking about you,» – Dad’s voice made me smile.
«And I about you, darling. My heart is uneasy.»
«Have you returned from work? Maybe we can meet, go for a walk?»
«No, sunshine, they took me to the hospital by ambulance yesterday.»
«Why didn’t you tell me!»
«They just gave me a phone now…»
«Then it’s clear,» – finally, I figured out why Mother and brother were on me today. – «Dad, I’m coming to you now!»
«Ania, tomorrow, okay? They won’t let you in today.»
«Okay, Daddy, get well soon!»
Dad was only discharged two weeks later. I went to the hospital every day, talked to the doctors, listened to their advice. And all recommendations boiled down to one thing: have a good rest, change the scenery.
«Daddy!» – I squealed joyfully on the hospital porch when Dad was finally discharged. Neither Mother nor brother had come to see him once during that time. Only called once – to find out the PIN code of the card.
«Hello, daughter!» – Dad clearly expected that my mother would also meet him. But she was not up to Dad: the manicurist had arrived.
«Dad, just don’t worry now, but we’re flying on vacation now. I talked to the doctors – they allowed it.»
«What do you mean – we’re flying now?»
«Yes, like this: a taxi will arrive in a minute.»
«And the luggage?..»
«We’ll buy there!»
We flew to the ocean. Two weeks of silence, peace, walks along the coast, excursions. Dad looked like a child who was given an extra portion of ice cream! He received more care for himself in those two weeks than in his entire life!
«Daddy, I’m sorry I didn’t think to take you on vacation earlier!»
«Daughter, I am immensely grateful to you. These two weeks – in second place in my happiness rating!»
«And what’s in first?»
«The day of your birth,» – Dad’s eyes radiated boundless love and pride. And there was also sadness in them.
«Why are you sad?»
«Sunshine, you understand, neither your mother nor your brother called even once, nor did they ask where I am, if everything is okay with me. Do they even know that we left?»
«No, I didn’t tell them.»
«And I… But then a notification about the blocking of the credit card came, and there was a good sum there…»
«Dad, before it’s too late, block the accounts and cards. Please, otherwise you’ll be left penniless!»
Dad looked at me sadly.
«Sunshine, I suspected that they saw me as a wallet, but I didn’t want to believe it.»
«In vain, Dad,» – and I very carefully told him how Mother and brother pressured me and demanded to support them.
«Don’t be shy, daughter, it doesn’t cause me more pain. I was thinking… I want to consult with you…»
Dad told me that he decided to divorce because he was tired of the unbearable burden of responsibilities. Supporting a family of a grown son, satisfying the growing desires of his wife…
«Ania, you’re the only one who never asks for anything, never demands, always gratefully accepts any gifts.»
«Dad, you are the only one who supported and supports me. You know, I’m also ready to support any of your decisions – even about divorce.»
I knew people whose parents were divorced. And regardless of when it happened, everyone experienced the separation of father and mother painfully. But I was sure: my parents’ divorce would benefit at least two people: Dad and me.
«Even about divorce?» – Dad thoughtfully twirled the hotel room key in his hands. – «Let’s then think about how to handle it better. She might even file for alimony. And then you’ll have to support her for the rest of her life…»
«Dad, didn’t you say the apartment belongs only to you?»
«Yes, daughter.»
«Then make an agreement: you leave her the apartment, and she doesn’t claim alimony. Move in with me. I’ve saved money, and if you want to be sure about the future, I can buy you a room or an apartment on the outskirts. Sorry, Daddy, but I can’t afford more yet,» – I really wanted Dad not to worry about the future.
«Ania, what are you talking about, I’m a man, I’ll buy it myself! I accept your offer to move in with you, but on one condition.»
«What is it?»
«One of the former partners offered to open a joint business. The topic is good, I understand it.»
«Dad, that’s great!»
I was genuinely glad that Dad could again engage in his favorite business.
«Of course! Only now he’s dealing with documents, plans, projects. At this stage, I’m not needed yet. There are three months. I’ll go on a shift, work with my hands.»
«And your health, Dad! You have to think about yourself!»
«Ania, yes, after such a vacation as you arranged for me, I can move mountains!»
«So what’s the condition?»
«If I need a translator, you’ll agree to work with me.»
«Of course, my dear!»
Dad immediately after returning filed for divorce. Mother agreed to the agreement and that she had no claims against me or Dad. Max and Lena tried for a long time to appeal to my conscience. But my conscience was at peace.
After so many years of moral slavery, I finally shook off the shackles of duty. Then, on vacation with Dad, I realized what it was like: to breathe deeply. Resentment towards Mother and attempts to win her love deprived me of life, health. And now I am free!
Dad invited me to work as a translator in his firm. I continue tutoring, but I take no more than 1-2 students. After I stopped helping Mother and brother, I suddenly had free money.
What happened to Mother and Maxim? Brother didn’t look for a new job or a side job. Due to mortgage arrears, he lost the apartment, moved in with his family to Mother’s. Then Mother sold the downtown apartment and exchanged it for two small ones on the outskirts. She called me and asked for help with the move. I sent her 15,000 – for the movers. Mother was offended by such a modest transfer. But I no longer care. I’m not obliged to help those who wipe their feet on me. It’s a pity I didn’t realize it right away.
