Arseny had always been used to achieving everything in life on his own. Back in his school years, he earned extra money washing cars, and later he ran around in the evenings handing out advertising flyers at different locations. The pay was not much, but it was his own money, and he could spend it on himself. He did not want to ask his parents for money, because he saw that they themselves were not in the best financial situation. Over the summer, Arseny earned enough to buy new clothes and all the school supplies he needed. He wanted to set aside part of the remaining money for pocket expenses, but his mother asked him to help get his younger brother ready for school. Arseny gave everything away, thinking that he could work on weekends and save up again.
His younger brother, Anton, was nothing like him. He was completely different from Arseny. He considered handing out flyers “cringe,” as he put it. He told his brother that at their age, they should be thinking about studying and letting their parents take care of their children. However, he had no particular achievements in his studies either. Their parents fussed over their younger son, seeing how dependent he was growing up, while Arseny was left to sail freely on his own, as they were sure he could take care of himself.
Arseny grew used to belonging only to himself. When he entered university, he did not forget about part-time jobs. He moved into a dormitory so he would not waste much time commuting. He tried as hard as he could. He saved whatever spare money he had. By his senior years, he had already managed to get an official part-time job in his profession in order to study it even better. On weekends, he helped an old acquaintance at a car service station, and he earned decent money for it.
Time flew by quickly. Arseny graduated. He was promoted and paid a good salary. Since he had managed to save money, he decided to take out a mortgage. He wanted to live in his own apartment and build his own life. He could no longer return to his parents’ house; he had become used to living alone and relying only on himself. His mother said it would be better for him to come back and help the family with money instead of paying such insane interest to the bank, but Arseny chose what he believed was right for himself.
The man was in no hurry to start a relationship, look for a girlfriend, or get married. For now, he thought only about his career. He wanted to achieve everything first: pay off the mortgage, buy a car, stand firmly on his own feet, so that later he would not experience the same financial problems his parents had constantly faced.
Anton, however, lived in a completely different way. The young man had started dating girls back in eleventh grade, changing them quickly and saying that he simply had not met “the one” yet, while the others bored him fast. Arseny told Anton to focus on his studies, but what was the point? The younger brother plunged headfirst into entertainment and brushed him off, believing that one had to live lavishly in the present, because there would still be a chance to earn money later, while youth would pass quickly.
Arseny sighed sadly as he looked at his brother. He considered Anton’s behavior unacceptable. After all, he was already an adult and should take on some responsibility, help their parents, at the very least. Because of his work at the factory, their father had developed health problems, but he was forced to continue going to work so they could maintain a more or less normal life, since prices for everything were rising at lightning speed. Whenever Arseny tried to talk to his mother about his brother, she immediately cut him off.
“You don’t live yourself, and now you want your brother to turn into the same stone idol?” the woman would say, frowning. “He is still young. Let him have fun. Maybe he will find himself a girl from a wealthy family and be happy with her. Don’t interfere. Have you even dated anyone yourself?”
It was unpleasant for Arseny to hear such words. Over time, he stopped giving advice. When they asked, he helped financially, but he became a rare guest in his family’s home. If no one wanted to listen to him, what was the point of trying? He sincerely wanted to help his brother, but the problem was that Anton did not need help. Arseny understood that one day Anton would regret the years he had lost, but when that happened, it would be too late to bite his elbows in regret.
Time passed. Arseny managed to pay off the mortgage in a fairly short time because he lived modestly and put every spare penny toward repaying the debt. His mother sometimes called him and said she was proud of her son, but it seemed that her words did not sound sincere at all, as if she were merely saying what he wanted to hear. Arseny did not take offense. He had long felt like a stranger. Simply because Anton needed their parents’ support more, because he was younger and had never managed to become independent.
If Arseny had been the same way, perhaps his mother would have treated him differently? Or was Arseny simply not attractive enough? His brother was more handsome, taller, and in general more charismatic, perhaps. And what about Arseny? He did not know how to communicate with people. He only knew how to earn money and do his job well.
However, he met his girlfriend unexpectedly. Katya burst into his life like the first ray of sunlight cutting through dark clouds in the sky. Beautiful, lively, confident. She smiled in such a way that his heart involuntarily stopped, then began to beat faster. She was too good for him, yet it was Arseny she paid attention to. This gloomy man, detached from everyone else, drew her in like a magnet. They met on an excursion and discovered there that they worked at the same company. In different departments, which was why they had not met before.
From that day on, both their lives changed. Katya often invited Arseny to have lunch together, and then he took the initiative. He wanted to fight for this girl, because now all his thoughts were occupied by her alone. Katya did not care about the state of his bank account. She was simply there. She did not ask unnecessary questions, did not say that she wanted to get married as soon as possible and then run off on maternity leave.
“I’m not planning to have children yet. Career first. I don’t want to depend on my husband and sit on his neck. Once I get a promotion, then we can start thinking about a wedding and children,” Katya said when Arseny asked about her plans for the future.
The man began saving money for the wedding. Deep down, he felt that it would happen sooner or later, because he and Katya did not plan to part ways. But first, he needed to buy a car. He had started saving for it six months earlier. Now he had gathered a fairly decent amount, enough to go to a dealership and take a look. If it was not enough, he could always take out a loan for the remaining sum.
Inga Valentinovna came to her son unexpectedly. She rarely visited him, but suddenly she showed up on a weekend, just when he was about to call Katya. They had planned to go to the car dealership together and look at cars. He wanted to buy a new one so that for several years he would not have to worry about breakdowns.
“Mom, why didn’t you even warn me that you wanted to come over? I had plans…” Arseny said, glancing at the wristwatch Katya had given him for Valentine’s Day.
“What plans could you possibly have? You have no friends, no girlfriend… Don’t tell me you were planning to go to work on a day off. I won’t believe that.”
“I wasn’t planning to go to work, and besides, a lot changes. Time doesn’t stand still. I have a girlfriend now.”
Arseny had not meant to boast, but his confession sounded exactly like that. He wanted his mother to stop thinking of him as withdrawn and closed off from everyone in the world.
“Oh really? And when were you planning to tell us? You must introduce us to her. After all, not every girl will be suitable for you. Your father and I must approve of her. What if she is after your savings?”
Looking at his mother, Arseny felt hurt. She had rejoiced when his brother dated girls and said that he had grown into a real man. But as soon as she found out that her older son had a girlfriend, she immediately started talking about checks and some strange kind of approval? No. He was not interested in his parents’ opinion. He had already chosen Katya. His heart had chosen her.
“Mom, I don’t need approval. No offense. I have been living my own life for a long time now. I am satisfied with everything. And I am completely satisfied with Katya. I am going to marry her. Even if you and Dad don’t like something… even if you are against it, that will not affect our relationship in any way.”
Inga Valentinovna waved her hand as if trying to make her son be quiet. It was unpleasant for her to hear such words, because she had been sure he would obey her until the end of his days. She had not noticed how he had distanced himself from her… back in childhood. But that was not why she had come now.
“You were going on a date with her?” the woman asked, narrowing her eyes slightly.
“I wouldn’t call it a date. I’m going to the car dealership to choose a car. Katya will keep me company.”
“A car? Are you going to climb into loans again?” Inga Valentinovna threw up her hands.
“I’m not. And even if I am, I’m not asking you to help me pay them. I have savings, but if I like something else, I’ll take out a loan. That’s not a problem for me,” Arseny replied dryly.
“First pay off your brother’s debts, and only then think about buying a car!” Inga Valentinovna said in a demanding tone that allowed no objections.
“Debts? My brother’s? And why exactly should I pay them?”
Arseny smirked, but something unpleasant pricked inside him. He already guessed that his mother’s visit was not simply a show of care. She would not have come just like that to find out how he was doing, whether he was sick or needed anything. To be honest, even over the phone she had never shown that kind of concern toward him.
“My brother’s debts?” he repeated, trying to keep his voice even. “And why exactly should I pay them?”
“Because you are the older one and you have money!” Inga Valentinovna snapped. “Anton got himself into an unpleasant situation. He took out loans to impress girls, wanted a cool car, and now he has nothing to pay them back with. If you don’t pay, things will get worse for him. The debt collectors won’t leave him alone.”
“Mom, how many times did I give him advice?” Arseny shook his head, feeling a dull, cold anger boiling inside him. “I tried to set him on the right path. I told him to think with his head, not his wallet. No one listened to me. You yourself cut me off whenever I opened my mouth. ‘Let him have fun, youth only comes once.’ I remember every word you said. If he got into debt, let him pay it off himself. I won’t help.”
Inga Valentinovna flared up like a match. Her eyes flashed angrily.
“So you refuse?” his mother’s voice rang with righteous fury. “You are his older brother! You are obligated! If you don’t help now, consider that you have lost your family. You will be dead to me as a son! Do you hear me? Dead!”
Those words hung in the air, heavy and sticky. Arseny closed his eyes for a moment. Did it hurt? Yes. But strangely enough, the pain felt familiar, old, aching. He had been waiting for this all his life. He looked at his mother and saw not the woman who was proud of his success, but the woman for whom he had always been nothing more than a backup airfield.
“You know, Mom,” he said quietly, opening his eyes. There was no anger in them, only exhaustion. “That happened a long time ago. A very long time ago. You just kept pretending that you loved me because it was convenient for you. I brought money into the house, I asked nothing from you, I wasn’t a burden. A convenient, independent son. And now, when you need me for something else, you decided to play that card? ‘Dead to me as a son’? I am already dead to you. And to Dad. From the very day you chose Anton and let me sail freely on my own.”
Inga Valentinovna opened her mouth to object, but she found no words. She only pressed her lips together, turned around, and left the apartment, slamming the door loudly behind her. The slam echoed through the hallway, but Arseny did not even flinch.
He slowly approached the mirror hanging in the corridor. In the reflection, a tired man with a firm gaze looked back at him. Arseny ran a hand over his face, as if trying to wipe away the traces of that conversation. Longing squeezed his chest. But through it came a strange, bitter relief. Everything hidden eventually comes to light. He had known for a long time that this would happen. And now it had.
“So this is how it would have ended sooner or later anyway,” he whispered to his reflection.
Arseny took a deep breath, straightened up, and took out his phone. He typed a message to Katya, and with every tap on the screen, the heaviness in his chest eased little by little.
“Sunshine, I’m heading out. I’ll pick you up in half an hour. I miss you.”
He sent the message and smiled. Ahead of him was a day that belonged only to them. And no problems of his brother had the right to ruin that day. Let Anton deal with everything on his own now. Arseny had helped enough in his time, and now he wanted to live for himself.
